


Fly on the Wall

by krashlyntome (bestthreemonths)



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4553379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestthreemonths/pseuds/krashlyntome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered what's behind some of your favorite players' vague tweets? Or wanted to know the story behind a particularly intriguing Instagram photo? Well, I don't have the answers for you. What I do have, however, is a wildly overactive imagination.</p><p>For this series, I'm going behind the scenes to bring some much-needed (and very very make believe) clarity to all those questions. I have many in the works, but prompts are certainly accepted, from tweets to Instas to U.S. Soccer YouTube videos or anything else from the social media canon your little hearts desire.</p><p>Full disclosure: my life revolves largely around Krashlyn, but I'm an equal opportunist and would love to write about any player or pairing you can think of. All chapters will be in the same universe unless otherwise noted!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thinking Positive

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Ashlyn's tweet when Ali injured her ACL and MCL in the CONCACAF Olympic qualifiers in 2012.
> 
> Leave prompts in the comments or message them to me at krashlyntome.tumblr.com :) I hope you enjoy!

Of all the Friday nights to get tired early, this is not a good one, Ashlyn thinks, pouring herself yet another cup of coffee. She’s jittery with excitement because Olympic qualifiers start today for the U.S., including some of her best friends from college and the National Team. Including Ali. She’s not really sure where she fits right now. It feels weird to just call her a friend among all her other casual soccer pals, but they’re not technically more than that, either.

Ashlyn has been thinking lately she might love her, like actually fully love her, but Ali is kind of hard to read. They spend time together one-on-one, and there has been plenty of cuddling and kissing and sometimes a little more, but nothing solid to define what they are. And as far as she knows, it’s a brand new experience for Ali, one she doesn’t seem keen to discuss. She tries to refocus on the game, which should be starting soon. They’re playing the Dominican Republic, and it’s sure to be a blowout in the U.S.’s favor, but her nerves still feel like they’re on fire.

She scrolls back through her texts, past HAO, Alex, Tobin, Carli, Hope, all the girls who she’d chatted with after wishing them luck earlier, and finally gets to Ali. She’s been holding off on texting her back beyond her initial simple “good luck!,” and Ali’s “Thank you! Wish you were here ;)” She knows better than to read into the wink, considering it’s Ali’s favorite emoticon, but she still lets her mind wander a bit.

It’s probably weirder to text back three hours later, but Ashlyn suddenly doesn’t really care, more concerned with talking to Ali before she hits the field, which should be any minute now. She hesitates and thinks about her message before typing. “Drinking coffee in your honor and cheering for you from Buffalo! Can’t wait to see the win. Get a goal for me? :)”

She hits send and within seconds sees the bubble indicating the other person typing. Her response is quick. “If I get a goal will you buy me dinner next time we’re in the same city? ;)”

Ashlyn’s heart rate picks up. This is the go ahead. “Deal. Go get ‘em, cougar.”

“I’ll make you regret calling me that,” Ali replies. “Any goal I make (or assist or attempt) is dedicated to you. Heading out now. Eeeeek! ;)”

Ashlyn all but clutches the phone to her chest, grinning like an idiot. It’s not a huge game really, but she knows just from that small exchange that tonight could change everything. She’s been nervous every time she talks to Ali ever since things between them started to shift, and every time Ali makes her wonder why she ever felt she had to be nervous in the first place.

Her stream is on standby, but as soon as the clock hits 10:30, it begins. She says a quick prayer to… well, someone, that the stream will be clear and that she won’t miss anything important. You know, like the famous bun.

Every time she gets a glimpse of even a part of Ali, even the sliver of her eyelashes and forehead in a quick huddle shot, her heart beats wildly, but she tries to focus on the game and is almost grateful for the times the camera isn’t directed at Ali so she can actually see what the whole team is doing.

Abby gets a goal in the first minute, setting the tone for what’s sure to be an easy win, and Carli scores in the fourth minute off a rebound from Abby, whose shot went off the post. Ashlyn is simultaneously thankful that she can sit back and relax watching this game and disappointed because everyone loves a nail-biter… provided it ends in their favor, of course. She texts Carli a quick “YES!” during the replay, eyes glued to the screen so she doesn’t miss anything.

She jumps up when Ali makes an amazing run down the field straight toward goal, letting out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding when a cross intended for Abby—or what Ash likes to imagine might have been a shot, for her—goes out.

Buehler is next with a goal, and it’s starting to look like a game of keepaway from the players in blue, which is fine with Ash. She laughs, imagining Hope leaning against a goal post and looking bored with life. She could probably be sitting on the sidelines and it wouldn’t make much of a difference in this game. That thought, of course, leads to the Dominican Republic getting a free kick and Hope making the most basic save of her entire professional career, so Ashlyn tells her mind to quiet down. Just in case.

The goofiest grin appears on her face when she sees Ali with the ball, game face on, looking for the play. She finds HAO, and Ashlyn cheers to herself, loving the fact that one of her best friends and her, well, whatever she is, play on the same side, making it way easier to fangirl over them simultaneously. Ashlyn would kill to be behind them on the pitch right now.

She laughs when she hears some girls in the crowd sing “chain chain chaaaaain” for Cheney when she goes to take a corner. HAO is the next to score, and Ashlyn texts her immediately to tell her Krieger’s hug was from her.

Abby scores another goal, which at this point isn’t that exciting—even Abby looks bored—because they’re now up 5-0, but Ashlyn cheers nonetheless before the game continues and she finds herself in awe of Ali’s first touch, which is truly a work of art, and the look of sheer determination on her face before a pass is completed.

Tobin scores a few minutes later, and it’s all she can do to keep from jumping on the couch with glee. At least at this point it’s just fun to watch, and there’s no way the girls won’t be out of their minds with excitement after the game, so it’ll be fun to Skype them later. She’ll be able to stay up for it, she thinks. She texts Tobin “YES TOBS! And loving the Carolina blue in your hair. TARRRR!”

Another of Ali’s crosses is deflected, but it doesn’t take long to make its way back to HAO, who scores yet another less than a minute later. “Now you’re just showing off,” she texts.

Ash is out of her seat yet again when Ali is in the box with the ball facing multiple defenders and the goalkeeper on her own. Her every effort is denied, and the keeper trips her up, but Ashlyn bursts with pride anyway and has to laugh at the annoyance on Ali’s face when she gets up after the ball is cleared, chanting her name along with the crowd. She texts Ali “All those shots just for me? Aren’t I a lucky lady?” And because she can’t help herself, she adds a wink.

Cheney takes another corner, which is pretty well defended, and Boxxy passes the ball to Ali, who’s right outside the box, unmarked as she runs up. Ashlyn grins as she watches her take another shot and picks up her phone before a shout catches her attention. It could have been someone in the crowd, she rationalizes quickly, but it continues, and the next thing Ashlyn sees is Ali on the ground, fist slamming into the turf.

Her breath catches in her throat as she watches Ali’s face contort in pain and teammates gather around her. She’s clutching her knee, which is never a good sign for a soccer player, and Ashlyn’s brain jumps to the worst case scenario. She’s had her fair share of injuries, including two ACL tears, but it’s Ali. Ali is unbreakable. She’s a survivor, a warrior. She can’t get hurt.

Boxxy is kneeling beside her, and Ashlyn’s heart is now beating out of her chest. “Get up, Alex,” she pleads. “Get up, get up, get up.” Ali is crying now, gripping Boxxy’s hand tight, as trainers finally come over. “Jesus Christ, what took you so long?” Ash exclaims.

She watches the replay in horror, seeing exactly when and how it happened. “Fuck,” she breathes, and an anger heavier than anything she’s ever felt comes over her, staring at the offending player from the other team. She’s torn between a desire to kick her ass and make her wish she’d never been born and a need to be there with Ali, squeezing her hand and letting her know that everything is going to be okay, even if she’s not yet convinced herself of that. Maybe, just maybe, she thinks in the back of her mind, her being there would have changed this, changed something.

She thinks back to their earlier conversation. Ali would have taken that shot anyway, right? She wasn’t just doing it for their stupid bet? Ashlyn tries to shake the thought from her head, but it hangs around in the back of her mind while she watches on, squeezing her eyes shut and hoping when she opens them it’ll all have been a huge mistake.

The other girl gets up, but Ali stays down, and Ashlyn’s fist slams into the coffee table beside her. It hurts, but nothing like what Ali’s feeling right now. Ali’s jaw is clenched in pain, and Ashlyn hears the crowd start to cheer her name as a stretcher is brought on. Fuckfuckfuck.

Boxxy is talking to her, trying to keep her calm, telling her to breathe, and Ashlyn is grateful. Mittsy is on the sidelines, set to come on for her, and a feeling of betrayal comes over Ashlyn, even though she knows it’s all part of the game. They all love Ali, even if it’s not in the same way Ashlyn does.

When they carry her off on the stretcher, she’s alone, and Ashlyn’s heart breaks, wanting—needing—to be there, for Ali to know she’s right there. She’s gripping her phone in her hands, not sure what to do or who to call, feeling completely helpless and useless. She doesn’t understand why the camera is still on Ali, who is clearly miserable and terrified, but she doesn’t know what she’ll do when it pans away and suddenly she can’t keep an eye on her.

The half is almost over, but she knows there will be plenty of stoppage added on, and it’s killing her because nobody will know anything while on the field. Nobody will be able to tell her anything. Her phone buzzes, and she glances down to see a text from Kyle.

“Please tell me you know something,” it says, and it breaks her heart to reply.

“Sorry,” she types back. “Your mom is her emergency contact, she should know something soon.” She thinks back to filling out the stupid forms in HAO and Ali’s room with a bunch of the other girls. They had joked at the time about putting each other as emergency contacts, and Ashlyn suddenly wishes it weren’t a joke. She knows the first priority is giving Ali medical attention and that Deb will get a call eventually, but she can’t stop worrying more every second that passes.

The game is still on in the background, but Ash can’t focus, so it takes her by surprise when she suddenly has texts from HAO, Lori Lindsey, and Alex, one right after the other. Alex just asked “Were you watching that?” Lori said “Hey kid, relax. She’s a trooper.” HAO was the only one who was open and honest.

“She’s not ok,” she wrote. “We all know what this is, and so do you.” Ashlyn’s heart twinged at her wording. We all know. So do you. It’s her ACL. At least. She’ll need surgery, and there’s no way in hell she’ll be cleared to play in time to continue training for the Olympics. And Ali knows too.

So Ashlyn does what anybody would do—anybody who just watched a person they love experience a dream-crushing injury anyway—and starts packing her bags. Whatever the cost of the ticket, Ashlyn would make sure Ali doesn’t have to wake up alone tomorrow into a reality that feels more like a bad dream.

“I’m on my way,” she writes to Ali. “I guess we’ll be in the same city sooner than expected, but you’re getting that dinner. Hang in there. Love you.”

And she doesn’t think twice about hitting send.


	2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas 2012. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS? It practically wrote itself. I mean come ON. This one is a little lighter and fluffier than the last one, which is a pretty accurate representation of how I plan for this whole thing to be. You'll never know what's coming ;)
> 
> Thank you for the super lovely feedback and nice notes and kudos so far! It made my heart sing with joy. Don't hesitate to let me know what you love and hate. Writing is a lifelong process of learning and tweaking and growing, and I appreciate you helping me along that journey :)

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2uzbhgh)

Ali’s not sure what she was dreaming of before she is startled from a peaceful slumber by the sweet sounds of “Call Me Maybe.” Not exactly her ideal way to start a morning, but when she rolls over to throw her phone across the room, she instead finds herself smiling through heavy lids, seeing Ashlyn’s familiar caller ID photo on her screen. She had set her own ringtone during the Olympics, an admittedly difficult time for Ali. Ashlyn had shown her the swim team’s video to the song on a particularly hard day, and it is something that still makes her smile, especially when accompanied by a ridiculous picture of Ash making a face while Ali kisses her cheek.

“Good morning,” she croaks.

“Merry Christmas, princess!” Ashlyn practically screams on the other end.

“Oh God,” Ali groans, rolling onto her back. “How are you this peppy at—” She pulls the phone away from her face to look at the time, squinting at the brightness of the screen in the dark of her room, assisted by the blackout curtains her dad had installed for her in high school. “Eight in the morning?”

“It’s 8:30, sleepyhead,” Ashlyn clarifies. “It’s Christmas morning, where’s your childlike excitement?”

“I think you have enough for both of us,” Ali says, giggling. Ashlyn isn’t typically a morning person, but she knows Christmas is a big deal to her family, and their traditions start before the sun even rises, so she can only imagine how long Ashlyn waited before finally calling. “Merry Christmas. Did Santa bring you everything you asked for?”

“All but one thing,” Ash replies.

“Yeah?” Ali says, smirking. “Maybe you were on the naughty list after all.” She doesn’t hear Ashlyn’s surely snarky comeback because it’s that moment that Kyle decides to burst into the room.

“It’s Christmas!” he exclaims. “Is nothing holy?”

Ali kinks an eyebrow at him, as if he’s ever been worried about being holy. “Sorry, Ash,” she says. “Kyle just wants to say hi.”

Kyle grabs the phone from her and brings it dramatically (typical) to his ear as he flings open the curtains, making Ali cringe. “Merry Christmas, my sister in lez!” Ali rolls her eyes but hears Ashlyn laughing on the other end. The best and worst thing about Kyle is his absolute complete lack of boundaries. Ali grew up loving every single thing about him, but over time she has seen him at his highs and lows, seeing all the cracks in the surface and all the insecurities he hides, and she always feels a little extra protective of him, especially around her friends. But from the day he and Ashlyn met, they were thick as thieves, and Ali couldn’t be more grateful for their connection.

“Kyle, can I please speak to my girlfriend?” Ali asks, sitting up in bed.

“Fine, but I need you for a picture soon,” he says. “And please don’t have phone sex. Christmas morning should be sacred.”

“Thanks,” Ali says, catching her phone as he tosses it to her before leaving. “Sorry about him.”

“He’s got a point, Al,” she says. “Christmas morning is sacred.”

“Since when have I been the one initiating phone sex?” Ali exclaims.

“Thin walls!” she hears Kyle call from the next room. Ashlyn must have heard him too, because she laughs.

“Tell me about your morning,” Ali says, settling into her pillow with her phone under her right ear.

“I woke up first,” she says. Typical Ash, everything is a competition. “So I got to wake everyone else up by blasting Christmas music throughout the house. And they were all being slow as hell, so I made pancakes and coffee for me and Grandma and nobody else.”

“Mmm,” Ali murmurs, only half aware of it. “Coffee.”

“And when everyone finally came downstairs they started trying to encroach on my pancakes so I was like ‘dudes, you know the rules.’” Ali laughs, imagining exactly how this would have played out. “So when we finally opened presents,” she says, exaggerating ‘finally,’ which in reality was probably only like five minutes later, “I got some new Sex Wax—” Ali’s eyes open at the word ‘sex’ before realizing what she’s talking about. “—and Nutella in my stocking, and you’re not getting any of it.”

“If you even have any left over by the end of the week,” Ali laughs.

“Good point,” Ashlyn concedes. “Chris loved his presents, and he told me to thank you for the headphones and arm band, even though he doesn’t like the suggestion that he needs to work out.” Ali giggles again, knowing that Ash is probably reciting this word for word. “Grandma got me some Christmas pajamas from Victoria’s Secret and a gift card, which she said was ‘just in case.’”

Ali bites her lip, holding back a grin. “Well if you need any help spending it, I’m your girl,” she says.

“I thought you might be game,” she says. “Good thing because you know how much I love shopping with you.”

“Shut up,” Ali says. “You love me.”

“I really do, Alex,” Ash says. “The only thing that could make this morning better would be having you here.”

“We’ll be together soon,” Ali says. “We’re extending the Christmas celebrations as long as we can.” They had agreed to hold off on exchanging presents until after the family and vacation madness died down. Ali knows how much Ashlyn adores Christmas, so keeping the festivities going well past the actual holiday season is almost a present in and of itself.

“You know I hate surprises,” Ash groans. “Just give me a hint about what you got me.”

“Nope,” Ali says, popping the ‘p’ at the end. She knows how much it’s torturing Ashlyn and not-so-secretly loves it.

“Okay, well can I give you a present?” Ashlyn asks.

“Over the phone?” Ali laughs. “I mean… If you give me a second to go to the bathroom so nobody can hear.”

“Not that, perv,” Ashlyn says, and Ali can hear the eye roll. “Our Christmas festivities should be wrapping up soon, and Chris has plans with friends…”

“Oh yeah?” Ali says. “So we can have Skype sex later?”

“Why settle for Skype?” Ashlyn asks. “If I leave around 3, I can be there by dinner time. Do you think Deb would allow it?”

“Are you kidding?” Ali practically squeals. “No seriously, tell me if you’re messing with me.”

“Of course not,” Ashlyn replies softly. “I miss you. It’s as much a present to me to see you. I thought maybe I could drive down and we could stay there a few days, then bring my car back here and fly out together.”

“Yes!” Ali exclaims. “Please.”

She can actually hear Ashlyn smile, and she grins in response. “Is it okay with your family? I can make hotel arrangements if it’s going to be too crowded.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ali says. “You’re always welcome here. They love you. I love you.”

“I love you too, Alex,” Ashlyn says.

“Al, are you done yet?” Kyle calls from outside the door before bursting in. “I need a Christmas morning selfie.”

“Okay, okay,” Ali says. “Have a good day with your family, honey. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Tonight?” Kyle asks, jumping onto the bed. Ali takes the phone away from her ear for a second.

“Yes, tonight,” she says. “Ash is coming, so you might want to turn up your white noise machine.”

"Gross!” he exclaims, crinkling his nose. “But between the three of us, it’s about time. You get cranky when you’re not with her. I can only imagine why.” He forms his hands in an obscene gesture to demonstrate lesbian sex, and Ali smacks him.

“Don’t be jealous, Kyle,” Ashlyn calls. Ali hits the speaker button. “You’re more than welcome to join the cuddle fest.”

“As if I would wait around for an engraved invitation,” he retorts. “Bye, honey!”

“Sorry, Ash,” Ali says, taking the phone off speaker again. “Kyle absolutely needs to take an Instagram, then we’re opening presents. But I’ll see you later.”

“Believe it,” Ashlyn says. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Ali says before hanging up. She doesn’t even have a second to collect her thoughts and wipe the smile off her face from the phone call before Kyle’s phone is in selfie mode in her face.

“Say cheese!” he says.

[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=2u61lhk)


	3. Finding the Way Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweden: the first of many great adventures.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=5jxz0z)  
Ashlyn takes a moment to herself to look around the room and take in her surroundings. Sometimes group situations can be exhausting and overwhelming, but when surrounded by people who make it easy, there’s no place she’d rather be. Kling and Press had decided to throw a team “Welcome to Sweden” party of sorts for Ali and Ashlyn, but because they had gotten there literally a day before getting thrown into their first game and were still adjusting to the time change, they settled for a small get together the night after the match.

Ali and Ash had taken the day to catch up on much-needed sleep and do their recovery from not just the Tyresö game, but the Spirit game they had played only three days prior, not to mention the insane toll travel had taken on their bodies. They were out of whack, and their bodies were feeling it. When they woke up, they had a sweet text from Press asking if they were still on for the evening, but “no pressure!” But when Kling offered to make dinner, they were sold.

So when Ashlyn sits on the couch next to her girlfriend, who’s laughing, both their bellies full of their first home-cooked meal in what feels like ages, it’s hard not to feel sheer bliss. Whit would be here soon, in the next few weeks or so, depending how her club does in Liverpool. Selfishly, Ashlyn wants her here sooner, but she knows if they go all the way to the championship she won’t be there till October. And in the meantime, living alone with Ali isn’t such a bad deal.

Christen is still concentrating as hard as she can on the correct pronunciation of Tyresö when Ashlyn feels Ali’s leg bump hers. She turns to look at her girlfriend, who looks concerned.

“Hey,” Ali says quietly, smiling. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired,” Ashlyn says, not realizing it till she’s said it. She’s exhausted.

“You wanna go?” Ali asks. “I can drive.”

“No, that’s okay,” Ashlyn insists. They have practice tomorrow, but Ali had two glasses of wine with dinner. She doesn’t drink much during the season, so it tends to go to her head quickly.

Ali gives her knee a quick squeeze and sits up. “I think it’s time for us to head out,” she says. “Maybe the wine will help with the jet lag.”

“See you at practice tomorrow!” Christen says, looking up from the computer with her signature smile.

“Do you guys know where you’re going?” Kling asks, standing with them to escort them out. “You were an hour late getting here because Ali couldn’t read the map.”

“She’s a terrible co-pilot,” Ashlyn agrees, welcoming a playful shove from Ali.

“Hey, if this was Germany, you’d be nothing without me,” Ali reminds them both. “I think I remember this time, though.”

“Whatever you say,” Kling says, giving them both quick hugs. “Drive safely.”

“Will do,” Ash says, grabbing the keys from Ali’s purse. When they step out the door, Ashlyn still feels an unexpected chill in the air, strange for late August everywhere else she’s ever lived. But this is Sweden, and there’s not much that isn’t different. She feels Ali grab for her hand, which warms her instantly while they walk to the car.

They try to be low key with displays of affection around friends, and they fail often, but it’s always a million times better when it’s just the two of them. Ashlyn decides to be chivalrous and open the passenger side door for Ali, who who grabs her wrist before she closes the door, pulling her in for a kiss. When she pulls back, Ashlyn leans back in for another peck.

“Suddenly I’m not so tired,” Ash says. They have basically spent the last five days attached at the hip from all the traveling and practicing and playing, but that left little to no time for actual intimacy. She can’t even remember the last time she kissed her for more than a brief peck in the morning before leaving the house.

“Yeah?” Ali asks with a smirk, raising an eyebrow. “Then you better get us home.” Ashlyn gives her another kiss for good measure before closing the door and hopping into the driver’s seat. When she turns the ignition, though, she cringes. “What?”

“Gas,” Ashlyn groans.

“Don’t worry, I saw a place on the way here,” Ali says, but truth be told, she’s a little worried herself considering she’s really only 80 percent sure she even knows how to get home. But there’s no way she would admit that to Kling.

Ashlyn mostly knows where she’s going, but she’s relieved to see a gas station ahead that looks pretty decently populated and not terrifying like so many of the horror movies she’s seen. When they pull in, Ali tries to get out and pay, but Ashlyn beats her to it. “Not this time, princess,” she says with a smile. She looks around before leaning into the car and kissing her, and Ali frowns.

“You know you can just kiss me here,” Ali says. “Nobody even knows who we are. And better yet, nobody cares.”

Ash blushes a little. She’s so used to watching her every move when she’s in public with Ali, but she realizes she’s right. “It’s not that I don’t want people to see me kiss you,” she says. “It’s more like I don’t trust myself to stop when I do.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to stop,” Ali teases, eliciting exactly the reaction she wanted with the pink flooding Ashlyn’s cheeks and her dimples appearing. She remains satisfied with herself until Ashlyn is finished pumping the gas and gets back into the car. While Ashlyn was trying to calm her heart rate at least till they got home, Ali was formulating a plan.

When Ashlyn pulls out of the gas station, Ali gently places her hand on Ash’s knee, squeezing it slightly and smiling as she stares straight ahead. Ashlyn turns to face Ali before turning her eyes back to the road, thrown by the uncharacteristic Ali move. Ali leans over to kiss Ashlyn’s shoulder, moving toward her neck.

“Alex,” Ashlyn says quietly, not sure what the intention behind it is. She doesn’t want her to stop, that’s for sure, but she can’t keep going either.

“Pull over,” Ali mumbles, biting the skin where her neck meets her shoulder. When Ashlyn hesitates, she moves her hand further up Ashlyn’s thigh until she all but slams on the brakes, pulling over. She loves this area because it has a small-town feel, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and right now she’s ever so grateful that the road, which used to seem scary without streetlights, is dark and deserted.

As soon as the car is in park, Ali is in action. She unbuckles her seatbelt and practically leaps over the console into Ashlyn’s lap as she fumbles for the lever to move the seat back. “What’s gotten into you?” Ashlyn manages between breathtaking kisses.

“I told you I didn’t want you to stop,” Ali says, working at the buttons of Ashlyn’s top. “If I didn’t know how much money you spend on clothes, I’d tear this off of you.”

“That’s never stopped me,” Ashlyn laughs. Ali gives her a look. She remembers a night that started out particularly romantic before Ashlyn completely ruined an insanely expensive babydoll lingerie set in a failed attempt to be sexy. The night still ended the way they had intended, but Ali wasn’t happy about it at all and grumbled about it for weeks until her birthday, when Ashlyn finally bought her a new set. More of a present for Ashlyn than Ali, really, but both got to enjoy it.

Ali gets distracted from her task by getting her hands tangled in Ashlyn’s hair as she kisses her deeply, Ashlyn’s hands crawling up the back of her shirt, gripping her tight. Ali had originally planned to do this in a teasing way to work her up for when they got back home, but now Ali can’t imagine separating for even five minutes to get home, and she’ll be damned if they’re getting back on the road without finishing what she had started.

Seems the universe has other plans. Ali nearly bashes her head into the roof of the car when she hears a light knock at the window. Trying to catch her breath, she’s sure they both look like deer caught in the headlights when they see a police officer shining his flashlight into their private encounter.

“Jesus Christ,” Ashlyn swears, rolling down the window slightly. Ali is frozen, but sitting back on Ashlyn’s knees, a slightly less compromising position, not that they are really fooling anyone at this point.

The police officer starts speaking to them in Swedish, but he doesn’t sound angry, just concerned. Ashlyn is surprised when Ali speaks up first, rambling off a string of German. The officer looks perplexed, but just nods and says what they both take to mean “good night” before strolling back to his car.

“How did you know he spoke German?”

“Oh, he doesn’t,” Ali says. “I knew there was way less of a chance he spoke German than English, and I figured he wouldn’t try to ask questions if he couldn’t communicate clearly with us.”

“So what did you say?” Ashlyn asks, and Ali laughs.

“Umm, I told him happy birthday, asked what he was drinking and congratulated him on a nice goal,” she says. Ashlyn shakes her head in amazement.

“You’re unreal,” she says. “That kind of ruined the mood.”

“Really? I thought it was kind of hot almost getting caught like that,” Ali says, wriggling her eyebrows comically, but she moves back to her seat anyway, assisted slightly by Ashlyn.

“Trust me, we’ll have plenty of chances to get caught when Whit gets here,” Ashlyn assures her, buttoning up the few buttons Ali had managed to undo.

“Promise?” Ali asks, smoothing her hair back into its usual pre-makeout pristine condition. Ashlyn answers by interlacing her fingers with Ali’s, lifting her hand to her lips.

“Promise,” she replies. “Now get us home, world traveler. The faster the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I can’t guarantee 100 percent accuracy, I have a journalism background and highly value facts, so you guys can’t even begin to understand the extensive research I do into these. So much so that I discover things I wasn’t even looking for and unearth even more unexpected pain. And as you know, with pain as with all things, sharing is caring. So, be looking out for that next time… In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed something nice and light.
> 
> Also, for the record, it just so happens that these have been chronological so far, but that’s not the plan at all. I’ll make sure to designate the dates on each chapter and I’ll keep including the tweets and whatnot, so don’t worry :)
> 
> Thank you for all the love and comments and messages! I’m not typically a “words of affirmation” kind of gal, but it’s so encouraging to see that people like this and care about it as much as I do!
> 
> P.S. (I promise these notes are almost over) If you like this, give it a comment! If you REALLY like this, do something nice for someone else today, because that would make me even happier. If you really like this AND you think I might be an alright person, you can help me do something nice for a very deserving friend of mine. All you have to do is send me a message (not anonymously!) on krashlyntome.tumblr.com/ask and I’ll tell you how to help (it’s free and takes ten seconds max).


	4. Truly Grateful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn finds herself ringing in her 28th birthday in the worst way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's baaaacckkkk... so I guess I kind of do this thing where I get like a ton of inspiration all at once and can bang out a few updates and then hit a lull. I also have a job where I get paid to write things that sometimes has to take precedence over this (upsetting, I know, for me too), but I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying it!
> 
> I love reading what you like and the feelings it gives you, so keep those comments coming ;) This one might be slightly more emo than the last, just a warning.
> 
> Most of these updates will stand alone, but there could also be chances to expand on certain updates, tell them from someone else's point of view or revisit them, so if you ever want to see something like that, let me know! I take prompts as inspiration, but I can't promise to deliver all wishes and requests because I'm not going to give you a subpar update because my heart's not in it or I can't come up with anything.
> 
> With that said, the next update should be a continuation of this one, and if you follow me on Tumblr (*cough* krashlyntome.tumblr.com), you might have seen a little teaser for what's coming... I was going to put it all in one update, but this one felt complete when I ended the final scene, so lucky you, you'll probably get another update preeetttty soon!

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=fm1maf)

Ashlyn lies flat on her back in bed, which is unusually cold, especially for as long as she’s been willing herself to sleep, tossing and turning to make it even a little bit comfortable. It hasn’t been the best week. She knows it’s only a matter of minutes before midnight, and she’s been trying to get to sleep since 10, hoping she’d be asleep and not have to ring in her birthday by herself. All the while she’s been willing the time to tick by slower, in denial that she’s going to spend her birthday completely alone.

As expected, her phone lights up as soon as the clock strikes midnight, and she glances over to see Ali’s contact picture, a sight that would usually immediately make her smile, but this time it’s different. She knows if she answers now, she’ll just cry, and that’s not how she wants to start her day, even if it is midnight. She turns her phone over and lets it go to voicemail, feeling guilty. Between her mind racing and her phone lighting up against the pillow until she finally turns it off around 2 a.m., she gets about three hours of sleep in all.

When her alarm goes off at 7 a.m. for practice, Ashlyn thinks she’d rather get a root canal than get out of bed. She turns her phone back on to find a slew of messages and missed calls. She has voicemails from her grandma and her parents and brother, but the only one she wants to hear is Ali’s. She immediately calculates in her head what time it is in Texas and regrets letting it go to voicemail, wanting nothing more than to talk to her. She hesitantly presses play, letting Ali’s voice calm her while still sending her heart racing.

“Happy birthday, honey!” she says. “I guess you’re probably getting sleep before training. I miss you so much, and I wish—” She stops suddenly, and Ashlyn wishes she had just finished the damn thought. “Give me a call back when you can. I love you.”

Ash takes a shaky breath before hitting the call back button. She’s actually surprised when Ali picks up.

“Hey,” Ali says, and Ashlyn can hear the sleep in her voice. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Ashlyn says. “Sorry I didn’t pick up. I was… sleeping.” She decides a lie is easier than making Ali worry unnecessarily at midnight halfway around the world. “How is it?”

“It’s good,” Ali says slowly, waking up. “Hang on, let me go to the hallway. I don’t want to wake up HAO.” Ashlyn waits, biting the skin on her lip, a nervous habit she thought she got rid of. “Okay. Sorry. I really wish I were there with you.”

Ashlyn pictures her in the hallway of a hotel, sitting with her back pressed against the wall and knees hugged into her chest, like she’s seen her do so many times when they have late-night hallway talks. “I’m sure I wish I were with you a little more,” she says. She doesn’t mean to come off bitter, but she’s been second-guessing everything lately.

“Honey,” Ali sighs. “It’s just a few friendlies.”

“I don’t need the pity, Alex,” Ashlyn says, cringing as soon as the words leave her mouth. It’s not Ali’s fault she didn’t make the roster this time around. She’s right, Ashlyn knows it’s not a big deal, especially in a year where there’s no big tournament coming up, but it still hurts.

“I’m sorry,” Ali says, and Ashlyn feels like shit, knows Ali has nothing to do with it and doesn’t deserve her lashing out.

“No, I am,” Ashlyn insists. “Sorry. It’s early.”

“I get it,” Ali says. “You have no idea how much I wish I could change this.”

“It’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “It’s just going to be a hard day.”

“You get to practice with the team,” Ali says, trying to be encouraging.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “But it’s not the same without you. All four of you.”

The only thing worse than not being able to spend her birthday with Ali is knowing that four of her closest friends are away from her together with a bunch of her other best friends. It’s usually not a huge deal traveling on her birthday because she’s always with at least one person who feels like home, but this year is just different. Ali, Press, Kling and Whit are all in the U.S. with the national team while Ashlyn is the lone American left in Sweden, waiting around for three weeks for them to return. And the cherry on top of all that is that her birthday happens to fall right smack dab in the middle of it.

“Well, this certainly isn’t the same without you,” Ali says. She fights back a yawn because she wants to talk to Ash as long as possible, but Ashlyn hears it.

“I’m sorry, it’s like midnight there, isn’t it?” Ashlyn says. “Get some beauty sleep. Not that you need it.”

Ali laughs. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you more,” Ashlyn says, and she cracks a smile for the first time.

“I love you, birthday girl,” Ali says.

“I love you too, Alex,” Ashlyn says. “I’ll talk to you later. Play good, okay?” Ali hums an affirmative response and mumbles her goodbye before hanging up. Suddenly, the room seems even more empty than it did before, and Ashlyn is ready for the day to be over already.

~

Luckily, practice mostly takes her mind off her birthday, and the team presents her with a cake and a song afterwards, which makes her feel a little bit warm inside.

When she gets back to her phone, though, she has so many messages from her U.S. teammates, who are just trying to be nice, but it’s a little wounding to know they’re all hanging out together having fun. Alex and Abby send her a video from practice that makes her laugh until she hears Ali laughing in the background, but she tweets them her appreciation anyway.

“Ashlyn!” she hears, and she turns to see their captain, Caroline, jogging up to her. “Do you want to go out tonight?” she asks in her adorable accent. “To celebrate your birthday?” The cake and the Swedish happy birthday song felt forced, but this feels genuine, like Caroline really thought about Ashlyn going home to an empty house and wanted to give her another option.

“Yeah!” Ashlyn agrees, albeit reluctantly. “Sure.”

They make plans for Ash to go to Caroline’s apartment, where they’ll meet up with some of the other girls and pregame before getting a taxi to somewhere for dinner, where Caroline assures Ash all her drinks will be paid for. That’s not usually a concern for any of them, really. Swedish guys (and ladies) are incredibly friendly when they get all dressed up to go out.

The night starts out like they all do, with a little buzz and a good dinner to soak up anything else she’ll drink. As promised, Caroline picks up the tab for dinner, and Ashlyn appreciates the gesture. They aren’t particularly close, but there’s something to be said for a captain who sees her players’ needs, even off the pitch, and then goes above and beyond to meet them.

They sit at the bar, chatting as smoothly as they can despite the language barrier while the rest of the girls dance, and Caroline keeps looking past Ashlyn. Ash goes to turn to follow her gaze, but Caroline grabs her knee quickly. “No!” she hisses. Ashlyn turns toward her in surprise. “Don’t look,” she says. “Well, look. But not now. There’s a woman at the end of the bar who hasn’t stopped looking at you. And now she’s watching me. She knows I’m talking about her. Oh God. She’s coming over.”

Ashlyn almost laughs, the chain of events so absurd to her, until a tall professional-looking brunette woman is standing between them and smiling at Ashlyn. “I guess I’ve been caught,” she says in perfect English with an English accent. Ashlyn must look dumbfounded because the woman quickly cringes and starts speaking in Swedish.

“Oh!” Ashlyn says. “No, no. I’m… I’m American.” She feels her cheeks turn red and glances at Caroline, who is watching the interaction skeptically.

“That’s a strange name,” the woman jokes. “I’m Kathleen. Well. Kate. I don’t know why I introduced myself that way, I’m a little… you’re really gorgeous.”

Forward, Ashlyn thinks, raising her eyebrows. “Ashlyn,” she says, letting her name hang in the air along with the silence.

“Caroline!” Caroline says, putting her hand out in front of her to shake Kate’s hand.

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” Kate says. Her face looks embarrassed, but her cheeks don’t turn pink, and Ashlyn envies her for that. “You two are together. I’m sorry, I was trying to be bold, and—sorry.”

“No!” Ashlyn exclaims, laughing. “We’re not together. She’s not—I’m— I have a girlfriend. Just not her.”

“Right,” Kate says. “I’m going to walk back to my mates with my tail between my legs now.”

Ashlyn laughs. “You don’t have to. For what it’s worth, you’re my type. I’m just kind of in love.”

Kate’s face softens and her smile looks more genuine. “She’s a very lucky lady, then,” she says. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“How—”

Kate actually blushes this time. “I guess I gave myself away as for how long I’ve been staring,” she says. “I just saw you guys doing birthday shots earlier. I thought it could be my excuse to buy you a drink.”

“You still can!” Caroline says, jumping in. “Her lover is out of the country. She needs to get drunk.”

Kate looks to Ashlyn for confirmation, and Ash just shrugs. "Whiskey sour?" she suggests, smiling just enough for her dimples to spring into action.

"It's the least you could do for me," Kate says. "Then I don't look like a total failure. Just that I'm playing hard to get." She calls over the bartender and orders Ashlyn's drink as well as one for Caroline. "Enjoy, and I hope your birthday is great. Cheers."

"Nice meeting you!" Caroline says, and Ashlyn lifts her drink toward Kate as she walks away, winking as she takes her first sip. She catches sight of Kate's friends, who immediately begin to act like they weren't staring the whole time. Caroline laughs. "You have a good... I don't know how to say it in English. You're very good with the ladies."

"Game," Ashlyn says. "I have fantastic game." Caroline looks confused, but nods anyway.

Ashlyn all but chugs the drink before looking down at her phone. It's almost midnight and she has two texts and a missed call from Ali. She must react visibly because Caroline clears her throat. "Are you alright?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to head home," Ashlyn says. She hops off her barstool, grabbing the bar for balance.

"Okay, I'll come," Caroline says. "Let me just tell the girls we're going."

"I can get a cab myself," Ash insists. "You stay. Have fun."

Caroline smiles as if to say the only reason she's here to begin with is to make Ashlyn feel better, which Ashlyn knew all along. It doesn't make her feel pitied, though. It makes her feel at home.

~

Ali's first text said "Call meeeee ;) I want to hear your voice before you go to bed xxxx" and her second said "Please :( we have open training at 5."

When Ashlyn gets home, there are flowers on the doorstep that have probably been there for ages. The note on them says "I would be sending all my love, but I left it in Sweden with you. Happy birthday to my bestest friend and the love of my life. Lucky me that I get two in one ;) XOXO, your Alex." It's written in her handwriting and the back of the card is in Swedish, so Ashlyn knows she must have taken care of this before leaving town, which makes her heart swell a bit.

When she gets in the door, she knows it's too late. It's not even midnight yet, but it will be a little before 5 in Texas, and the last thing she wants is a rushed phone call with Ali, so she replays her voicemail four or five times, content to hear her voice. She wants to stay up for another few hours to catch her after training, but she knows after the tequila shots and the whiskey sours that she's a goner. So she settles on leaving Ali a voicemail to come back to.

"Heyyyy Al," she murmurs, recognizing the tipsiness in her own voice and giggling slightly. "Just wanted to tell you I love you. And I miss you. And I had the worst birthday ever because you weren't here." She feels her eyes start to well, and this wasn't where she intended to go with this at all when she dialed her number. "I just really miss you," she says. "Nothing is the same without you, and it really sucks to be the one left behind." She takes a strangled breath in, sniffling. "I'm so proud of you, though. Never forget that, okay? You deserve everything you get because you've worked so hard. You inspire me so much, and you make me want to be better every day. That's what I'm working on now, okay? Every day till you get home, I'm going to be working toward being a better goalkeeper. A better Ashlyn. And that's because of you. I love you so much sweetheart." She stays on the line a few more seconds, breathing deeply and exhaling before finally hanging up.

The floodgates are open now, but Ashlyn rolls with it, letting the emotions wash over her. It might be the worst birthday ever, but she'll be damned if she lets it do anything but motivate her to never be in this position again, meaning she has to be better. She has no choice. Hope may be unbeatable and Barnie may be an incredible and experienced goalkeeper, but Ashlyn has something bigger than that pushing her, and it's time to unleash her full potential, whatever it takes.


	5. Here With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a continuation of the last update, chock full of plenty of real live tweets (even rarer, a real live DELETED tweet... so, sorry about the lack of screenshot there. Hopefully I described it well enough to picture!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You seriously can't understand how much comments make me smile, so if you enjoy this, please let me know :) I even included some handy dandy questions at the end (remember guided reading questions in elementary school? Those were the days, man)
> 
> Also, if you love yourself/really want to get in my head while I wrote this chapter, listen to the song Ashlyn tweets about in the beginning while reading ;)

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=34epyeh)   
**22 October 2013**

Ashlyn wakes up weirdly energetic for a Tuesday morning, but when she looks at her phone, she realizes it’s because it’s actually Tuesday afternoon. Now she remembers. Training was early this morning, and it was rough. After her ice bath, which she actually enjoyed for once, she had come home and immediately knocked out while waiting for her scheduled phone call with Ali, which was supposed to be at 2 p.m. her time, when Ali would be eating breakfast in Texas and Ashlyn had nothing scheduled.

Looking at her phone, though, she sees that she long missed that call and has two voicemails and a few texts from Ali to prove it. She plays the voicemails first.

“Hey you,” Ali says quietly, and Ashlyn feels terrible hearing the disappointment in her voice. “Hoping you’re just in the shower or something. Um. Call me back. Love you.”

The second one is even worse. “Okay, I guess you forgot,” Ali sighs. “I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to call before it’s too late for you. I hope you had a good day. I really was looking forward to talking to you.” She takes a deep breath. “Okay, I just put mascara on so I better quit while I’m ahead. I just miss you a lot. This sucks.” She hangs up abruptly before saying I love you, and Ashlyn groans, looking at the texts.

“My body woke me up early because it was so excited to talk to you ;) so you can call me whenever if you’re not busy!!!! Xxx” reads the first one. “Before I forget, listen to this song: Here With Me - Susie Suh & Robot Koch. Alex has been playing it nonstop and it got me all moody thinking about you,” reads the second. “Hellooooo? Anybody there?” reads the third, presumably between Ali’s two calls. And that’s it.

Ashlyn calls her back first, willing them to be on some sort of break where Ali can pick up, but of course she can’t be that lucky. “Alex, I’m so sorry,” she begins as soon as the voicemail beeps. “I fell asleep. I’ll put my ringer on as loud as it goes, I don’t care what time it is, just call me when you can,” she says. “Love you. Mean it.”

She barely has time to get out of bed before her phone is ringing. She smiles when she sees Ali’s face and slides her finger across the screen to answer.

“Hey you,” she says.

“Hi sleepyhead!” Ali says excitedly. “How was your nap?”

“Good, but talking to you would have been better,” Ashlyn says. “I’m really sorry.”

“That’s okay, I’m talking to you now,” Ali says. “How was your day? Tell me all about it. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you more,” Ashlyn says, feeling conviction in her heart that it’s true. Ali feels the opposite. “Nothing too exciting. Practice was rough. I was pretty much begging for the ice bath when it was over.”

“Yikes, that is bad,” Ali laughs, all too aware of Ashlyn’s distaste for the ice. “Ice baths have been hell without you to distract me.”

“You can always call, you know,” Ashlyn says gently.

“Where do you think I am right now?” Ali says, and Ashlyn is suddenly aware of the echo that signifies a bathroom.

“So am I just your distraction?” Ash teases.

“No, that was Alex,” Ali says. “But then she went to go do some phone interview. It’s a lonely life rooming with a superstar.”

“Tell me about it,” Ash sighs. “Speaking of, are they actually going to let you play against New Zealand? Because as much as I love watching everyone, I would rather see you.”

Ali laughs. “I sure hope so, Kyle is coming. Crystal wasn’t bad though, right?”

“Hope never would have had to make some of those saves with you at right back,” Ash grumbles, but the normalcy of just talking football with Ali again makes her happy.

“The real question is are you even going to make it to Sunday to watch the game?” Ali asks. “What with your big weekend in Munich.”

“It’s questionable for sure,” Ashlyn admits. “But if you tell me you’re starting, I’m watching.”

“Guess I’ll have to bust my ass in practice then,” Ali says.

“Like you ever do anything less,” Ash replies. “Just take care of yourself because I want you back in one piece.”

“Yeah, you too,” Ali says. “Niki promised me she’d tell me every time you two change locations so I don’t have to text you every twelve seconds because I’m worried.”

“I’ll behave myself,” Ashlyn says. “No promises that Niki will, though.”

“As long as she takes care of you and by November 3 you’re all recovered, I don’t care what you do,” Ali laughs. “Well, that’s a lie. There are a few things I’d rather you not do.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Ashlyn says. “Don’t worry. Seriously.”

“I’ll try,” Ali says. Ashlyn hears a voice in the background. “Yeah, just a minute!”

“What’s that?” Ashlyn asks.

“Alex just got back,” she says. “She says hi, but we have to go eat lunch before we have a fitness meeting. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sounds good,” Ash says. “Love you.”

“Love you more,” Ali says.

“Love you most!” Ashlyn hears Alex shout, and she laughs before hanging up. Her fingers hover over the texts Ali sent earlier, and she reads them again just to soak up a little more time with her. She grabs her laptop and looks up the song Ali told her to listen to. It’s definitely Alex’s type, a chill, quiet song, but the words are what get her, and what she assumes made Ali tell her about it.

_So many miles between us now, but you are always here with me._

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=21cau0k)

~

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=t53o6g)

**27 October 2013**

Ashlyn does survive the weekend against all odds, making it to the airport with just minutes to spare. Ali does start in the New Zealand match, and Ashlyn watches the whole thing despite having to stay up till 2:30 a.m., texting Kyle so it’s like she’s actually watching with someone. She’s basically dead the next day and has to take shit from her teammates about partying too hard in Munich (which is still a fair statement), but it’s worth it.

She actually gets pretty excited for the next game, knowing it’s the last one before Ali comes home, so she takes a long nap in order to be ready to watch it live at 1:30 a.m. When the live stream of the game is a complete bust, Ashlyn almost cries out of frustration, but when she wakes up to a text from Ali saying “Just a few more sleeps :) P.S. I got player of the match! Just wish you had gotten to see it,” it’s all forgotten, the countdown to Ali winding down.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=j6lf2q)

~

**1 November 2013**

Ali’s had a stressful day, but knowing it’s all going to be worth it in the end helps a little bit. When she looks at her phone and sees an incoming call from Ashlyn, she groans despite herself before picking up.

“Hey, honey!” she says, trying to put on a cheerful voice.

“Hey you,” Ashlyn says, clearly more relaxed than Ali feels. “Whatcha up to? Where are you? It’s loud.”

“Um, just out for drinks with Liz,” Ali says, looking around. “It’s not really a good time.”

“Oh,” Ashlyn says, clearly a little taken aback. “Sure, yeah. Sorry.”

“No!” Ali exclaims. “Sorry, it’s just loud. Are you okay? What’s up?”

“Just wanted to check in,” Ash says. “See how your night with the girls was.”

“It was good!” Ali says. “Actually, Liz wants to say hi. Hang on a sec.” She hands Liz the phone despite the confusion on her face.

“Hey, Ash,” Liz says. “Yeah, it’s been fun.” She pauses, listening to Ashlyn on the other end. “I definitely will.” She laughs as Ali rummages through her purse, trying to find everything she needs. “I know she’s excited to get back to Sweden, but I’m going to need you both to get your asses back to America eventually. Okay. Okay, I will. Alright, see you soon. Here she is, bye.” She hands the phone back to Ali, who finally seems to have her life sorted out.

“Hi,” Ali says, considerably calmer now.

“I’m still picking you up tomorrow night, right?” Ashlyn asks. “I’m getting ready to go to bed, so I just didn’t want to take the chance of missing you before we nail it all down.”

“Yeah, late” Ali says. “Sorry I keep forgetting to email you my flight information.” Lies. “I’ll do it when I get home.” More lies. Ali is actually surprised at how easily all this is coming out.

“Okay, no problem,” Ash says. “I’m excited to see you.”

“Me too, can’t wait!” Ali says. “I have to go though. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ashlyn says. “So much.”

“Wait!” Ali says. “What time did you say you have training tomorrow?”

“I don’t think I did,” Ashlyn says. “But I just have keeper conditioning in the morning, I should be done by noon.”

“Okay, just, um, wanted to see if I’d get a chance to call you before then,” she says. “I have to go for real now, love you, bye!”

Ali doesn’t want to hang up in such a rush, but she has to. As soon as the call ends, Liz laughs. “You’re the worst liar ever,” she says.

“Shut up,” Ali retorts. “Thanks for making it believable.”

“You’re just lucky I’m here,” Liz says. “Imagine if she had asked to speak to me.”

Ali cringes. “I’m sure I could have come up with something else.”

“Well you better go,” Liz says. “Your flight takes off in 40 minutes.”

“Shit,” Ali swears under her breath. “Okay, I love you, thanks for everything.” She gives her friend a quick hug and pulls back, pouting a little. It never gets easier to say goodbye, even when she’s going back to something she’s been missing an immeasurable amount.

She waves as she runs toward security, where as usual, she has to hurry up and wait. As she stands in line, she taps out a tweet. “Off to Sweden!!” she types, being sure to add her oft-used blue and yellow hearts in homage to the country’s flag.

When she finally emerges from the security checkpoint and grabs her phone from the bin it was in, she has a text from Whitney, probably to confirm what time to pick her up.

“ARE YOU INSANE? ASHLYN HAS TWITTER. DELETE THAT!” it says, and Ali’s face turns bright red in embarrassment, even though she’s the only one around who knows what’s going on. She laughs out loud before deleting it as fast as her thumbs can move.

“Good save,” Ali replies. “See you in like 10 hours ;)”

~

**2 November 2013**

“Home sweet home,” Ali hears, and she blinks her eyes open to see Whitney to her right. She realizes she must have fallen asleep on the way from the airport, and she immediately feels guilty for not keeping Whit company on the drive after she went to such lengths to pick her up from the airport. “Or castle sweet castle, I guess.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you!” Ali says.

“No worries, but you better get in there because she should be getting home any minute,” Whit says, grabbing two of Ali’s bags.

Ali grins, grabbing her last bag, and follows Whitney in. When she gets to the room she shares with Ashlyn, she wants to cry from some combination of excitement, relief and exhaustion. Whitney sets her bags down and starts to leave the room, but turns back to Ali first.

“I’m going to go meet Press and go somewhere with her for a few hours… to sit around and stuff…” she says, raising an eyebrow so Ali will understand what she’s really saying. “You can just let me know how things go, and if I don’t hear from you, I’ll probably just spend the night with her and Kling. Sound good?”

Ali feels certain all the blood has rushed to her face, but out of anyone, Whit gets it the most, what with being best friends with Ashlyn and roommates with them both. And despite the fact that their friends love to tease, Ali loves how affectionate they get to be in private and around close friends and that nobody ever faults them for it. They spend enough time playing it cool.

As soon as Whit is gone and the door is closed, Ali starts putting her things away to relax, but she still manages to panic a little bit, realizing she has absolutely no plan for what she’s going to do when Ashlyn gets back. She doesn’t have time for anything elaborate, no candles or rose petals, and oh God, what if she gets back and is so exhausted that she’s in a bad mood?

But then Ali hears the front door open and the familiar sound of Ashlyn dropping her bag in the entryway, where Ali will inevitably trip over it in the morning and roll her eyes before putting it in its designated place. And Ashlyn is singing something, which always signifies a good mood.

Her heart races when she hears her footsteps on the stairs, and all she can think to do is sit on the couch, hands in her lap like a student waiting outside the principal’s office. When the door opens, a smile spreads across her face so big her ears can feel it, and when Ashlyn sees her, she mirrors it.

Tearing the headphones off her head, Ashlyn looks at Ali in pure disbelief and, when it sinks in, glee. “No way,” Ashlyn says, rushing toward Ali with open arms.

Ali rises to meet her and is quite literally swept off her feet when Ashlyn picks her up to swing her around, squeezing her so tight it would be hard to breathe if Ali weren’t already breathless with exhilaration. When Ashlyn sets her down, she holds Ali’s face in her hands and stares at her like she’s not entirely convinced she’s real yet. When her eyes have had their fill, she kisses her softly.

“How?” Ashlyn asks, pulling back.

Ali just laughs, letting her arms hang loosely around Ashlyn’s neck. “I almost ruined it so many times,” she says. “Whit helped a lot though.”

“I’m going to kill her,” Ashlyn says. “She was giving me such a hard time about not knowing when your flight was coming in.”

“At least now you don’t have to come get me at the airport,” Ali says. “And we can spend our time in a much funner way.”

“Funner isn’t a word,” Ashlyn says, leaning in for another kiss, which Ali happily accepts. “Just another reason UNC is superior to Penn State.”

Ali narrows her eyes, but she can’t wipe the smile off her face at finally being reunited with her girlfriend. “I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am to be back.”

“You don’t have to,” Ashlyn says. “You can just show me.” She wiggles her eyebrows comically, and Ali buries her head in her chest. “Hey,” she says, lifting Ali’s chin. “I’m really glad to have you back. Let’s never do that again.”

Ali nods her agreement, capturing Ashlyn’s lips in a longer, slower kiss than before. “Promise,” she says, not sure how much control she has over keeping it, but neither one really cares about that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was your favorite moment? Favorite line? Favorite use of html (she got fancy this time around)??? Favorite goal of the Victory Tour so far? WHO ARE YOU PULLING FOR IN THE NWSL THIS WEEKEND?!?!
> 
> I promise I'll still write another update even if you answer any of those incorrectly ;)
> 
> Thanks again for reading <3


	6. Everybody Needs a HAO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty self-explanatory. Shouldn't everyone have their own personal HAO?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea just got in my head and wouldn't leave me alone till it was all done. It's a little different than the rest, but I hope you still love it. The first two parts are hyperlinked both in this note and in the story itself to the things they're (loosely) based on... [the first](http://www.ussoccer.com/stories/2014/03/14/19/12/wedding-crashers) is a blog post and [the second](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8klNy7X0oR8) is from a moment in YouTube video (if you don't know it when you see it, it happens around 3:18). The third part is... well, you'll see ;)
> 
> P.S. It's the absolutely WONDERFUL [Taylor's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/talleyyo/pseuds/talleyyo) birthday today, so go wish her a happy happy one by leaving her a nice comment and reading some of her fics! She causes me a lot of pain and heartache but I guess she still deserves a good birthday.

**Part I: 31 October 2010, Cancun, Mexico **

It all starts with a text in the middle of the night.

“Send help,” Heather reads. She probably wouldn’t have noticed her phone light up if she hadn’t woken up to her roommate’s failed attempts at being quiet when she snuck in about half an hour ago, just making curfew.

HAO doesn’t usually pick favorites, but if she had to pick her preferred roommate, it would be Ali Krieger every time. She’s nice, neat, and funny, and she laughs at Heather’s jokes. The other Heather is a close contender, but given that Ali plays in Germany, time with her is few and far between, and HAO selfishly enjoys having her all to herself sometimes, especially now that she’s kinda sorta planning a wedding.

Ever since HAO told Ali she was engaged, Ali has been emailing her ideas left and right, revealing that she secretly could see herself being a wedding planner after retiring from professional soccer. At the resort that has become their home in Cancun for the CONCACAF World Cup qualifiers, it’s no surprise there are weddings going on left and right. Just the other day, Ali had taken off on an adventure to stake out the setups and promised to report back with all her findings. She had gone with Ashlyn, who is now texting HAO in apparent distress at 1 a.m.

“Are you ok?” HAO types back, slightly bleary-eyed. She tries to remember who Ashlyn is even rooming with. One of the younger girls, definitely, but none of them are stupid enough to do anything risky the night before a match, even if it is Halloween. Then again, Ashlyn isn’t playing in the matches, and HAO has seen her wild side.

“I don’t know,” Ash replies. “Can we go somewhere and talk? I promise I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t really important.”

“Yeah,” HAO answers, suddenly fully awake. “I’ll meet you in the hallway in just a sec.” She rolls out of bed, careful to be quiet and not wake Ali. She tries to find her sandals in the dark, but gives up, electing to go barefoot. When she walks out of her room, Ashlyn is already standing there, leaning against the wall across the hall.

“Hey,” Ashlyn says. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” HAO says, rubbing her eyes. “Lobby?” Ashlyn nods, and they ride the elevator down in silence. HAO is immediately grateful to see the coffee machine in the corner of the room, and she fixes them both a cup of decaf. “What’s the deal, Harris? No offense, but I was a little worried you and Alex had managed to find a Halloween party out here and needed rescuing.”

Ashlyn laughs despite herself. “Anything I tell you stays between us, right?”

“Of course,” HAO says, nodding. “Potentially unless you killed someone. Even then I could probably be bribed with hush money.”

“I like Ali,” Ashlyn says.

The jolt of warmth that usually works, even with decaf coffee, hasn’t yet hit HAO. “Yeah?” she says. “We all do. She’s great.”

“I know,” Ashlyn says, laughing a little bit. “But I think I like her more than that.”

Oh. That gets HAO’s attention. “Wait, like—” Ashlyn nods. “Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “I kind of figured that would be your reaction.”

“No!” HAO says, trying to undo whatever damage she just did. “I just don’t know if…”

“Right,” Ashlyn says. “If she’s even into girls. I know. Hell, even if she’s into girls, what are the chances she’d like me specifically? So you can see my problem.”

“Yeah,” HAO breathes. She hadn’t ever even considered their friendship to be anything besides platonic, but now that she thinks back on their interactions from this new perspective, she can kind of understand. She knows Ashlyn is out and proud, but Ali’s only ever dated guys. As far as she knows, anyway. “So how did you… come to this realization?”

“Have you seen her?” Ash jokes. “I mean, yeah, I’ve always thought she’s attractive, but we’ve been spending a lot of time together—” HAO had noticed. “And like, I don’t know. I just really feel a connection, I can’t explain it. And I’ve started liking her more and more, and it doesn’t feel like just another straight girl crush.” HAO winces a little bit, having seen firsthand how Ashlyn suffered her fair share of those in college, or even just one night stands who later insisted it only happened because they were drunk. “Then tonight she asked if I wanted to go on a walk on the beach, and I kind of assumed other people were going when I agreed, but then it was just us. And we walked and then just sat by the water and talked for such a long time. She opened up so much and she made me feel like I could open up too. It was the best, most natural conversation I’ve had in a long time. We completely lost track of time, but I had like a hundred perfect opportunities to kiss her and I froze.”

“Ash,” HAO sighs.

“What do I do?” she asks, and HAO wants so desperately to be able to say the right thing, but she doesn’t know what that thing is.

“I don’t know,” she admits, and Ashlyn’s face falls. “I want to be able to tell you to just go for it, but I think we both know it’s not that easy.” Ashlyn nods. “I don’t have to tell you that dating a teammate can get messy.” Ashlyn nods again, this time out of firsthand understanding. “It’s one thing in college, but it’s something else entirely at this level.” She runs the risk of her requested advice turning into a scolding that Ashlyn neither wants nor deserves, so she chooses her words carefully, trying to say the next part as gently as possible. “I also don’t want you to lose a wonderful friend,” she says.

Ashlyn bites her lip, looking at the ground, at the wall, anywhere but straight at HAO, and it is obvious that she’s thought all these things through herself. HAO realizes she’s only telling her things from a logical standpoint, reaffirming the facts while Ashlyn is alone to struggle with her feelings, which are just as legitimate.

She twists the ring around her left ring finger, still not completely used to how it feels there, and sneaks a glance at it before taking a deep breath.

“But,” she says, breaking the silence, and Ashlyn finally looks up, meeting her gaze. “I can’t tell you anything you can’t tell yourself. But you have something extra. You know yourself better than anyone can, and even if I can’t feel what you do right now for Ali, I know that you are a smart person and someone who anyone would be lucky to be loved by. I can’t tell you to just go for it. You know I can’t, and I won’t.” She pauses, noticing that she is still twisting her ring, and now Ashlyn’s attention has shifted to the movement.

“But I want you to know that I am behind you 100 percent no matter what. And that I know Ali pretty well by now, and she’s not the kind of person to throw away a friendship she treasures over something like this. And you’re both serious and professional and kind and goofy and everything that I value in a friend, and everything I think you’ll find you value in each other.”

Ashlyn only nods again, and HAO’s not sure she’s ever gone this long without hearing her speak. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t helping you at all—”

Ashlyn laughs, cutting her off. “HAO,” she says. “You have no idea how much you’ve helped. Thank you.”

HAO tries not to pry, but when Ali has a little extra spring in her step the rest of the time they’re in Cancun, she can’t help but hope she may have had something to do with it.

**Part II: 15 July 2015, Vancouver, Canada **

It didn’t take HAO long to realize that maybe today was not the day to third-wheel on a lunch date with Ali and Ashlyn. The idea had come to her on a whim over breakfast. Ali had been gone long before HAO had even woken up, off on a run with Press and Pearcey, as she had taken to doing as a way to destress.

Considering tomorrow would be her first day back on the pitch in Vancouver where her Olympic hopes came to a halt in the most painful way possible, HAO could understand wanting to run off some steam. So, when she saw Ashlyn and Alex at breakfast, she decided to sit with them and hatch a plan with Ashlyn to get Ali’s mind off it.

Alex had plans, but Ashlyn told HAO she’d go along with “whatever.” She didn’t seem particularly excited about it, but HAO had chalked it up to tiredness at the time.

Now, sitting in a diner just blocks from their hotel, HAO thinks she could have assessed the situation a little better. Neither girl seems herself today, and HAO reminds herself to check the bathroom in the hotel room she shares with Ali to see if it could be that time of the month. They hadn’t stopped snapping at each other since they left the hotel, and HAO couldn’t be more uncomfortable if she tried.

When the check comes, Ashlyn immediately grabs it, and Ali rolls her eyes.

“What?” Ash asks, but it’s less of a question and more of an instigation.

“Go ahead, Ashlyn,” Ali sighs. “It’s fine.”

Now it’s Ashlyn’s turn to roll her eyes. “I can take care of myself, Alex. And you and, for that matter, HAO. Right?” She turns to HAO, who looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Uh—”

“Bring HAO into it, that’s great,” Ali says. “Can you just pay so we can go?”

“Guys, I don’t even know what I’m being brought into,” HAO says. “I just thought I could grab lunch with two of my friends.”

“You can,” Ali says, plastering a smile on her face that she blatantly uses as a weapon, much like a little girl sucking up to her mother after her sibling gets in trouble. “I’m sorry. Ash?” She raises her eyebrows toward Ashlyn, who is handing her credit card to the waitress. She clears her throat, and Ashlyn looks at her.

“God, can you relax?” Ashlyn asks.

“Can you be less obvious about checking her out?” Ali gripes. Ashlyn just rolls her eyes, taking her phone out of her pocket, probably to scroll through pictures of French bulldogs on Instagram.

Thankfully, it’s only a few more minutes of awkward small talk before the waitress brings back the check and Ashlyn signs it, covering the tip from Ali’s prying eyes.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” Ashlyn says, the first to stand up. “I’ll see you back at the hotel.” She leaves without waiting for a response, and HAO just looks at Ali, who stands up as soon as Ash is gone.

“Ready?” she asks, putting on a chipper voice. HAO raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“You seriously expect me to just ignore that?” she asks. Ali shrugs. “Sit down. We aren’t going anywhere.”

Ali sits, folding her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry, that was really childish of us,” she says. “I don’t even know what the deal is.”

“Well, why were you bickering in the first place?” HAO asks. “As far as I knew, when you left the room last night to go hang out with her, everything was peachy keen in paradise.”

“It was,” Ali says. “Nothing happened. I was stupid. I was getting really stressed about the Nigeria game, and she was just trying to help, and I got all snippy I guess.”

“Al, it’s Nigeria.” HAO says lightly. “I don’t think that’s the issue.”

“I’m scared,” Ali admits. “And Ashlyn was right, I don’t have anything to worry about except for my own mind getting in the way. But I didn’t want to hear it, and I know it’s unfair to her, but then she had to make it all personal.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” Ali groans. “She basically told me I should be thankful I even get this opportunity, and it felt like a guilt trip. So I might have overreacted a little.”

“Considering your fights usually last three seconds, I think that’s probably a fair assessment,” HAO says. “What did you say?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ali says, fiddling with the salt shaker on the table. “I screwed up. Can we go now?”

“Hey,” HAO says gently, putting her hand over Ali’s. “I’m your friend, okay? I’m here for you. I love Ashlyn and I’m her friend too, but I’m always going to be on your team. Both of your teams. Even when one of you does something human and makes a mistake, I’m never working against you. I’m not keeping you here to scold you. I just want to talk. Or listen. It’s up to you.”

Ali smiles tightly, her eyes starting to prickle with tears. “Thanks, HAO,” she says. “I know you are. I just… I know how it feels to be so close to your goal and have it ripped out from under you. It’s happened to me so many times. And this is just a double whammy, you know? It’s that field for the World Cup, which I felt like I could literally taste four years ago. And then I had the chance to make up for that a year later, and I didn’t even get that far. It’s not fair.”

HAO, having been there for both events, nods. “It’s not,” she agrees.

“And Ashlyn doesn’t get it,” Ali says. “I’m so happy she’s here, and I want everything for her. I want her to reach all her goals and be the happiest person on the planet, and I try so hard to give her that and to make her understand all the shit I’ve gone through up till now, and it’s like she doesn’t believe me or just doesn’t care.”

“Or maybe it’s that she’s gone through her own share of burdens,” HAO says. “And has seen you through yours. And maybe it’s time for both of you to start creating a new future instead of letting the past haunt you so much. Maybe this is your chance and that’s what she wants you to focus on, not the crappy things that have shaped you into being such an incredible player. And more importantly, an amazing teammate and friend. And girlfriend. I assume, anyway.”

Ali laughs through her sniffles, and HAO squeezes her hand before continuing. “If I’ve learned anything from this,” she says, holding up her left hand, which prominently features her engagement and wedding rings. “It’s that love is a team sport. And when you look at love as a competition, you’ll always lose. Imagine if you tried to go out there tomorrow and compete with Becky. How many goals would we score then? How likely would it be that we could win it all on that very field? Don’t forget who your teammate is.”

**Part III: 10 September 2016, Chapel Hill, NC**

If there’s anything HAO didn’t really consider about buying a home in Chapel Hill, it was the sheer number of visitors she and Dave would have during the off season. Even when she is in Kansas City, people text her asking if they can crash at her place for the weekend. Luckily, it results in her fair share of thank you cards and muffin baskets, so it’s a fine trade-off.

It still never fails to amuse her when someone will randomly announce their presence in town and show up on her doorstep, but she’s always happy to see Ashlyn and Ali, even if it is 11 p.m. and she and Dave rarely stay up past 10. He made her a pot of coffee when she got the news and gave her a goodnight kiss before retiring to the bedroom, because she wouldn’t dare admit to the girls just how “old married couple” they are.

Ashlyn’s text had said “Surprise, in town with AK. Pleaseeee be home :) We have a hotel room but want to see your pretty face luv yewwwww!”

HAO had responded appropriately by jumping off the couch to immediately straighten up the living room to make herself look presentable before texting back “Come on over!” even though prior to that she had been lounging in sweatpants and eating Ben & Jerry’s out of the container.

When the doorbell rings, HAO is right by the door, so she swings it open immediately, clearly catching the two off guard in the middle of what seemed to be turning into a heated kiss. They’re both dressed up, Ali rocking the little black dress as only she can, and Ashlyn looking dapper in a suit.

“What brings you two into town?” she asks, hugging them both and kissing their cheeks. “Where did you go looking so fancy?”

“I took Ali to Top O,” Ashlyn says, referring to a Chapel Hill favorite for team dinners that were more upscale than Jimmy John’s. “Can you believe she’d never been before?”

“I can’t!” HAO agrees. “Come on in. Sorry I look like… this,” she says, gesturing to her sweatpants and oversized UNC Soccer sweatshirt.

“I love this place,” Ali gushes, and HAO notices then how tipsy they both seem. “Where’s Davey?”

“He went to bed early,” HAO half-lies. “I wish you had told me you were coming, you know you never need to stay at a hotel. We’d love to have you guys.” Ali giggles, sitting next to Ashlyn on the couch. “Can I get you some water or something?”

“No, that’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “We won’t stay long, but we’ll be around tomorrow. Just wanted to see you tonight.” She turns to look at Ali, who can’t seem to wipe the smile off her face, and pecks her on the lips. They’ve never been shy about their displays of affection, at least around close friends, but HAO finds herself feeling like there’s something weird about all this.

“Am I… missing something?” she asks, sitting down on the ottoman by the couch, looking between the two of them. Ali just grins while Ashlyn shrugs.

“I don’t know… are you?” Ashlyn says. They must be drunker than she previously thought.

“I’ll get you some water,” she says, standing up. Ali grabs her wrist to pull her back down.

“You don’t notice anything different?” she asks, raising her eyebrows as if to suggest that she should.

HAO’s eyes narrow as she slowly looks down to the hand that’s still holding her wrist. As she turns her wrist, something catches the light, and she shrieks. “Oh my God!” she yells, grabbing Ali’s left hand. “You didn’t.”

“We did,” Ali says, smiling even wider than before.

Dave bursts into the room in a panic. “God have mercy, woman, I thought you were being murdered.”

HAO looks up at him, smiling like a maniac. “They’re engaged!” she exclaims, holding up Ali’s hand. He seems to be taking a moment to process it all, then nods.

“Congratulations!” he says, but his excitement is forced. HAO realizes that’s probably a fair reaction from a man who was probably entering his REM cycle when she screamed.

“Go to bed, Davey,” Ashlyn laughs, wrapping her arm around her new fiancee. “We’ll celebrate tomorrow.”

“Sounds perfect,” he says, yawning.

“How?” HAO asks, practically breathless, turning her attention back to the more important things.

Ashlyn looks at Ali as if to tell her to go ahead, and Ali takes a deep breath as if she’s been ready to burst up until she asked. “We were home and not doing anything for the weekend, so Ashlyn suggested we go to Chapel Hill. She made it seem like a really random spur of the moment thing, so I went along with it of course. She said we’d call you and hang out and she’d show me around. I don’t know why I didn’t question it, because of course we’ve been here together before.” As she speaks, she leans even closer to Ashlyn without realizing.

“And I told her I got us a reservation at Top O, which clearly didn’t even faze her,” Ashlyn adds.

“Anyway,” Ali says. “We got here in the afternoon and walked around campus a little bit, and she told me stories I’d already heard a million times before, but it just felt really special. We went to the soccer field when the sun was going down and kicked a ball around and… well, yeah. It was nice.” She shares a secret smile with Ashlyn, and HAO knows some things should remain between them.

“So dinner,” Ashlyn prompts, nudging Ali’s knee with her own.

“Dinner was amazing,” Ali says. “We ate on the deck thing outside and got a beautiful view and polished off a bottle of wine… and maybe a cocktail each.”

“Maybe,” HAO laughs.

“So we walked down Franklin Street,” Ali continues. “And it was just kind of quiet and peaceful even though there were college kids out everywhere, and we went to that cupcake place—”

“Sugarland,” HAO helps, suddenly craving a red velvet.

“Right, and we got cupcakes and we walked down a little further to where it was quieter, and we sat down to eat them at this bench under these really pretty lights, which I only found out later aren’t actually usually there, but apparently someone has some tricks up her sleeve,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn’s cheek quickly. “And we ate and talked and I said something gross about how much I love her and how perfect the night was or something cheesy like that, and she was like ‘funny you should say that,’ which I thought was just her being her usual Ashlyn, until she pulled me up off the bench and got down on one knee.”

HAO gasps, even though she knew the story led up to this. “Oh my God, that’s perfect,” she says. “Ashlyn, who knew you could pull that off?”

“Gee, thanks,” Ashlyn laughs. “I did have a little help with the lights and the field and the photographer, though.”

“Oh yeah, there are pictures,” Ali laughs. “I’m kind of scared to look at them immediately because I’m convinced I had frosting on my face.”

“You did, but I made sure I got it all off with my tongue before any proposing happened,” Ashlyn assures her, and HAO makes a face.

“After the initial excitement and tearful phone calls to our families, all I could think of was how much I wanted to come here and tell you,” Ali says. “So I’m really sorry to barge in so late uninvited.”

“Oh my God, are you kidding?” HAO asks, nearly crying at how sincere Ali sounds. “I’m so honored. I’d be here for you guys any time and willing to jump on a plane at 3 a.m. if you needed me. This is incredible.”

“Well, that’s why we wanted to tell you first,” Ashlyn says. “You’ve truly been there through it all, and I know for sure you’re such a huge part of why this is even happening. So as long as you agree to be a bridesmaid in our wedding, we’ll buy you guys brunch in the morning.”

“Not a chance,” HAO says with a straight face. “Davey’s buying. But hell yes to being a bridesmaid!” She practically tackles them both with a hug, fighting back the tears that are just below the surface. She knows Ali is going to retell that story a million times in the next week or so, and then plenty of times after that, but her heart feels like it could burst at the knowledge that in the moment, it’s just the three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, leave a comment/kudos! Tell me things:  
> 1\. Thorns or Spirit for the final NWSL playoff spot?  
> 2\. Favorite line?  
> 3\. Favorite chapter so far?  
> 4\. Favorite (real life) Ali and Ashlyn moment ever???? Who knows, maybe one of them will spark something within me to write about ;)


	7. I Know Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when the gals shook it off with Taylor Swift? Players gonna play... and the USWNT is no exception. I hope this chapter shows you incredible things ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY GAME DAY!!! Who’s ready for the Spirit to snag that final playoff spot? (Sorry, Thorns fans… though I’m not sure there are any of you here… let me know if there are! I love you guys anyway!) I KNOW I AM!
> 
> This is by far the most requested prompt of sorts I receive both on Tumblr and in the comments, and I was SO hesitant to write it for so many reasons. But considering Taylor Swift and Ali Krieger are basically tied for my favorite person in the entire universe, I’m really pleased with how it turned out :) Thanks for the kind and encouraging comments! They bring a smile to my face and make me want to write more and more. I also add all your ideas and favorite moments to my story idea spreadsheet (I’m Type A to a fault), so keep those coming ;) Also here’s a fun game. Keep track of the more subtle 1989 references sprinkled about (there are at LEAST 13… duh, potentially more depending how closely you read and the fact that Taylor Swift lyrics take up a decent part of my brain and heart at all times) and report back with your findings! Some might be really hard. I’m not sorry about it.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=bi5e10)

If you had asked her a month ago, waking up as part of an email thread between all her teammates, Aaron Heifetz, and Taylor Swift’s management could have easily been one of the weirdest things to happen to Ali Krieger, but given the week she has had, it doesn’t even rank in the top 10. And she doesn’t have time to get excited about the prospect of going to a Taylor Swift concert until after the ticker-tape parade being held in their honor in New York City. Yeah. Welcome to New York, indeed.

The parade is insane, and Ali feels time freeze around her as she looks at the crowds of people screaming, American flags waving. She’s sure that in this moment, the rest of the world is black and white, but they are in screaming color. Her brother is by her side, as are some of her very best friends in the world, and she has to literally keep pinching herself to convince herself it’s really happening.

It isn’t until she’s picking her outfit that she lets herself get excited for the concert. She’s loved Taylor Swift for a long time, proudly converting Ashlyn with the help of Alex and some of the other girls who love her, most of whom are singing along to “22” in Alex’s hotel room while getting ready together. She’s never been to a concert of hers before, but she’s heard nothing but great things, and Kyle lost his mind when she told him they were going.

Cheney, Alyssa, and Kling, bored of waiting, went down to the lobby to get snacks. Tobin, Ash, HAO, and Lori are sitting on the bed taking ridiculous selfies with Kelley’s phone while she, Alex, and Ali put the finishing touches on their hair and makeup in the bathroom.

Ali walks into the bedroom to put on her lipstick in a less crowded mirror, and before she can even get the tube open, she feels arms twisting around her waist and a chin on her shoulder. She looks up to meet Ashlyn’s eyes in the mirror and smiles. “You excited?” she asks. Ashlyn nods, kissing the place where her neck meets her shoulder lightly. Ali brings the tube to her lips, but Ashlyn plucks it out of her hand, making Ali turn.

“Don’t put it on,” she whines.

“Why?” Ali says, grabbing for it. She plays dumb, but she knows exactly what she’s doing. Ashlyn is too quick with her hands for her to get it back, though. Makes sense, she supposes. “It’s that red lip classic thing that you like.” She raises her eyebrows and struggles to keep a straight face.

“You forgot,” Ashlyn says, puckering her lips dramatically. “I need a kiss before you put that on and I can’t kiss you anymore.”

“You can kiss me anytime,” Ali laughs, but she grants her wish anyway, ignoring the whistles from around the room.

“That’s not really my color,” Ashlyn says, handing back the tube. She always knows how to push Ali’s buttons.

In the end, Ali decides the lipstick isn’t worth it.

~

It’s one thing to be picked up by a limousine—again, Ali has learned not to question anything that happens to her these days—but when they arrive to the stadium, they’re led through a back entrance and given their tickets as well as passes with their names and World Cup press credentials on them.

Ash insists on taking a selfie of the two of them grinning, holding up the VIP passes from the lanyards that hang around their neck, but their moment is interrupted when a woman tells them to follow her. As they walk underneath the stadium, presumably to be led to their seats, she explains that their tickets are in a suite and that their VIP passes entitle them to complimentary refreshments all evening.

She’s looking at her phone to check a text from Kyle, so she doesn’t realize where they’re going until Ashlyn grabs her wrist at the same time she hears the girls take a collective breath of amazement. When she looks up, she realizes they’re backstage, and it’s like they’ve just entered Wonderland. It’s the first time Ali really realizes she’s at a Taylor Swift concert. Their escort knocks on a door, and when it opens, she almost passes out. Standing right in front of her, all long legs and red lips and rosy cheeks, is Taylor Swift.

“Oh my God, you came!” she exclaims, looking genuinely thrilled. “Come in, come in!” She stands back to welcome them in, and Ali takes in her surroundings, hardly able to breathe. Alex seems weirdly collected for as amazing as this moment must be for her, and Ali wonders how anyone is able to maintain composure.

She’s tall, intimidatingly so, and wearing heels at that, but her smile and warmth offset the enormity of her presence. She hugs each one individually, making passing remarks about Kelley’s adorable outfit and Ashlyn’s hat and finally, Ali’s shoes, making her turn pink. She offers them all a seat on an enormous couch and water and coffee and baked goods that she supposedly made herself because it’s what she does to calm her nerves before shows, but she can’t really expect them to believe that, can she? And yet, Ali finds herself believing it.

“I couldn’t stop watching you guys,” Taylor gushes, perching on a loveseat with her mile-long legs crossed. “I was hooked. Abby, I’ve been a fan of yours forever, I swear to God. I cried when Carli gave you that arm band, I’m not even joking. You’re all my heroes, for real. And oh my God, the nose bleed?” she says, looking straight at Kelley, who turns bright red. “And your goal against Germany! We were all screaming in my hotel room, you have no idea.”

“Thank you so much,” Kelley says, looking at Tobin beside her as if for reassurance that this is really happening. “We literally listen to you nonstop in the locker room. Cheney—er, Lauren—” she says, pointing to Cheney. “She makes the playlist.”

Taylor’s eyes light up at that, and she looks at Cheney in genuine amazement. “No way,” she says. “Thank you for doing that! Your goal in the final was insane. Both of you!” she says, gesturing to Tobin. “I am literally in shock that you guys are even here.”

“Ali helped a lot with the playlist,” Cheney says, and it’s a funny thing what Taylor does to those around her, Ali notices. There’s something about her attention, about feeling like you’re the only person in the room when she looks at you, like she really cares about you. And the most magical thing about it is that everyone is so willing to share. Every girl is so quick to call her attention to another teammate because everyone should get to feel so special, even if only for a second. And suddenly, Ali feels it herself.

“I’m obsessed with you,” Taylor says. “Seriously, in the first game I was like ‘who is that girl? She looks like a goddess and she just worked her butt off for that whole game.’” Ali feels like a starstruck 12-year-old, scrambling for words, but Taylor helps her out. “Nothing was getting past you. And you! With that insane save!” she says, turning toward Kling. “I was like ‘no way. No way!’”

Ali feels someone else’s eyes on her, and she’s pulled away from her trance to meet Ashlyn’s gaze from beside her. Ashlyn is smiling, unable to take her eyes off Ali, who she’s never seen at such a loss for words. “She’s right,” Ash whispers. “You’re really something else.” Ali, still speechless, just leans into her chest, and Ashlyn gives her a kiss on top of her head before either one thinks better of it.

Taylor turns toward them slowly, and Ali freezes, suddenly aware of everything. Her instinct is to jump away from Ashlyn, but something keeps her glued there. Taylor just smiles at them before clapping her hands together. “I have an idea,” she says. “I was kind of hoping you guys could help me out with something?” It’s funny, because everything she says sounds like a performance, but sincerity seeps through every word, striking a chord within Ali. She wonders if the other girls feel it too.

“Yeah, definitely,” Alex says, the first to speak up. It’s pretty clear to everyone that Alex is their unofficial Taylor Swift liaison. Nobody would dare stand in her way.

“So I do this thing where when I have friends in town for one of my shows, they walk out with me to Style. Like, just rock out like you’re on a catwalk. And my friend Heidi is here too, and she’s used to the whole runway thing—” It takes Ali a moment to realize she’s talking about Heidi Klum, and only because she feels Ashlyn, who has been in love with Heidi for years, tense beside her. “Would you guys be up for joining me out there? Maybe we could even bring the World Cup?” She smirks, looking up at Heifetz, who affirms that yes, the trophy is ready and willing.

“Are you kidding?” Alex manages. “Of course! We’d be thrilled.”

“Oh my God!” Taylor says, clapping her hands together. “This is going to be so much fun. There are going to be girls in the audience passing out. They’re going to have to carry them out on stretchers. You guys are rock stars!”

Everything after that is a whirlwind of selfies with Taylor and gossip about hair and makeup and their favorite songs on Taylor’s new album. It feels like the room is spinning around Ali, and the only thing anchoring her is Ashlyn, steady and solid next to her. She reaches out to squeeze Ashlyn’s hand, and she looks pleasantly surprised.

“Your sleeve,” Taylor says, reaching out to touch Ashlyn’s arm lightly. “What a badass. I could never pull that off.”

“Sure you could,” Ashlyn laughs, and Ali finds it remarkable how unperturbed Ashlyn is by Taylor. Like it’s natural, like they’re friends. “I know a great tattoo artist, I could take you.” Ali isn’t sure whether to feel a little jealous, hearing the flirtation in Ashlyn’s voice, or proud of her for being such a champ.

“Sounds great,” Taylor laughs, and Ali feels like she sees a wink. But maybe Taylor is just one of those people who can just get away with winking at anyone without it ever meaning a thing.

“Tay, hair and makeup,” a woman calls from the doorway. Taylor pouts.

“Gotta go, but I’ll see you guys a little later?” she asks. “Someone will come get you when it’s time. Please, have fun!”

As soon as she leaves, the girls drop their cool facade, dissolving into a fit of squeals and giggles and “did that really just happen?” They all compare selfies and dissect every moment of conversation as if to simultaneously relive it and analyze it while they walk to their seats.

“So…” Ashlyn says, dropping Ali’s hand just before they emerge into where people could see them. “When she said Heidi, did she mean…?”

~

Ali can’t stop shaking her leg, and Ashlyn puts a hand on her knee to calm her. “Hey, relax,” she murmurs, sliding her a vodka soda she picked up at the bar. She squeezes her knee quickly, a signal they have used in the past to mean “I can’t kiss you right now, but I would if I could.” It comforts her, and she takes a sip.

The other girls are having a great time, and Ali decides of all the times to be nervous, this is the most absurd. She lets herself breathe as she downs the drink, and Ashlyn laughs at how quickly it’s gone while Kelley tells them a story. “Oops,” Ali says, looking down sheepishly. “All gone.” She lifts her cup to Ashlyn, who rolls her eyes good-naturedly and goes back to the bar for more.

Ali takes the next one nice and slow, feeling her muscles start to loosen up while HAIM plays. As it gets darker, Ashlyn gets touchier, and Ali is weirdly okay with it. She feels safe up here in the box, the July air cooling down the stadium, but she imagines it has to be a furnace on the floor where thousands of bodies are dancing and screaming, not letting up even for a moment.

When the lights go down just before Taylor takes the stage, she even sneaks a kiss from Ashlyn as Kelley makes a gagging noise. “Haters gonna hate,” Ashlyn retorts. They only see a few songs and a few short speeches from Taylor before one of her crew comes to get them.

“It’ll be a little while,” the girl says. “But they want you to change into your jerseys and be ready to go on when it’s time.”

They’ve almost made it through the crowds and back underground when Ali hears the next song starting. She grabs Ashlyn’s arm, and Ashlyn turns in a panic to see what’s wrong. “Listen,” Ali says, smiling. “It’s our song.”

Now, to be fair, Ali and Ashlyn have plenty of songs. But this one is special, and both of them know it. Taylor’s album came out in October, right after World Cup qualifiers, so of course the whole team was listening to it on repeat when they reunited at the Brazil tournament right before Christmas, but one song in particular struck her in particular, from the melody to the lyrics.

_Something happens when everybody finds out, see the vultures circling dark clouds, love’s a fragile little frame, it could burn out_

Ashlyn smiles, pulling Ali in to her side as they make it back into their private little area, which is now considerably darker. They have a dressing room to change into their jerseys, but Ashlyn pulls Ali away to a dark area where nobody seems to be bustling about, where they can just enjoy the music for a second.

_They’ve got the cages, they’ve got the boxes and guns, they are the hunters, we are the foxes, and we run_

Ashlyn presses Ali against a wall, kissing her deeply. “I love you so much,” Ashlyn says. “I can’t stand not kissing you whenever I want to, but this—” She cuts herself off in order to plant another kiss on Ali’s lips. “This makes it worth it.”

“Ash,” Ali giggles, in a half-hearted protest. She takes her by the collar and pulls her in again. “I love you too.”

_Baby, I know places we won’t be found, and they’ll be chasing their tails trying to track us down_

They stay there for a little while longer, too in love to think straight, taking a much-needed moment to themselves to collect their thoughts and just be alone with each other. Ali thinks about the difference between now and the earliest days of their relationship, where there was so much she wasn’t sure of. She realizes now how much they needed those times to learn from each other and grow together. When you’re young, you just run, but you come back to what you need. And for Ali, what she needs is Ashlyn.

_They take their shots, we’re bulletproof. And you know for me, it’s always you. In the dead of night, your eyes so green. And I know for you, it’s always me._

~

Nobody tells them what to expect, so nobody has the chance to get nervous before practically being pushed onto the stage as Taylor announces them. The crowd does go insane, cheering even louder when Taylor lifts the trophy, but Ali doesn’t know if they’ve stopped the madness since the moment Taylor walked onstage. She’s not going to lie, she was a little nervous that she’d trip, but now that she’s out there and rocking out with the other girls, having a blast, they’re too busy dancing to get knocked off their feet.

Even in her wildest dreams she couldn’t have imagined all this year would bring. Looking into the crowd is a vision she’ll never forget, and having these girls by her side is such a perfect feeling. It’s unusual to find a group of girls who get along with and support each other as much as they do. In years past, there’s been bad blood between the team, but Ali knows that’s the difference between this team and those that have come before.

They’ve been there through the craziness of not only this year, but even since the last World Cup, through her injury, through the most bittersweet Olympics ever. And together, they rose above. And they’re world freaking champions. And they’re on stage with Taylor freaking Swift and Heidi freaking Klum. And it’s all real life. Nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now.

It feels like it’s over as soon as it began, complete with a group hug, and Ali turns to walk back, but a hand grabs hers on the way, and she looks in alarm, not sure what Ashlyn thinks she’s doing, but that hand is much bonier and not quite as strong and—oh. Taylor Swift is taking her hand, and she can only follow along. She looks to her right, and in her other hand is Ashlyn’s, and Taylor just smiles, escorting them off stage.

Taylor whispers something to Ashlyn that Ali can’t decipher, but if the crowd wasn’t loud enough, now her heart is beating even louder. “You two are relationship goals,” Taylor laughs, squeezing Ali’s hand, and no way did she hear her right. “I asked Alex earlier,” she explains. “There’s something kind of dangerous and fun about hiding in plain sight, isn’t there?” This time, her wink is directed toward Ali, and yeah, Ali thinks, she is the type of person who can get away with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a blank space, baby, and HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO ANSWER IN IT!!! P.S. You don’t _have_ to answer the questions in your comments if you have other thoughts and feelings, but these are the things I ponder while I write, so I love to read your answers and get in your heads! And your answers surprise me a lot of the time, which is super cool.
> 
> 1\. Favorite line? (This question will probably never go away because I always want to know)  
> 2\. Favorite Taylor Swift album/song/lyric/all of the above??? (By far the most important question I will ever ask. For the record, my answer is Fearless/Cold As You/“I took your matches before fire could catch me so don’t look now. I’m shining like fireworks over your SAD EMPTY TOOOWWNNN!!!!!!!” OR “AND YOU CALL ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE SO CASUALLY CRUEL IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST”)  
> 3\. Did you catch all my references? I love a good allusion...  
> 4\. What characters (aside from Ali and Ashlyn, of course) do you want to see more of in the future? I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to change things up and explore some of the other gals :)


	8. Three Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a little friendly competition among the USWNT? Well, as we all know, no competition is ever just "little." Based on the U.S. WNT Bowlerama video :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been having fun incorporating the rest of the gals into these, and while I was working on my [video](http://krashlyntome.tumblr.com/post/128066519604/so-i-tried-something-new-ive-been-thinking) (what’s that? Self promo? Oh yes, I have no shame), I was rewatching the [WNT Bowlerama](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1cQMo4ZksM) video, and later that night I went bowling and I just had endless inspiration, so I wanted to write a quick drabble of sorts about what went down that night.
> 
> Thanks for all the love and kudos and comments on the last one! If you ever doubt how much they mean to me, realize that I woke up to three new comments and like 15 new kudos and immediately started writing this. Just saying ;)

“Krieger’s putting her hair in a bun, you know what that means!” Abby announces, and Ali rolls her eyes, but she can’t help but smile. It would actually be a little embarrassing how seriously everyone is taking what’s supposed to be a friendly bowling competition, but in a group of 24 of the most competitive people on the planet, it only makes sense.

The coaching staff refused to give them an incentive in order to make them less competitive, but it didn’t work. They had even chosen captains and drawn numbers out of Jill’s hat to figure out the order everyone would pick teams and who would have to be down a player. Lori would go first, then Abby, Becky, Ali, and HAO.

“A Rod!” Lori says. Abby follows by choosing Barney. Becky immediately claims JJ, which was to be expected. Ali picks Carli without a moment’s hesitation, leading Ashlyn to balk, but Ali isn’t paying attention. Her reasons for picking Carli are two-fold: not only is she weirdly good at bowling, but she’s her roommate now that Carli’s partner-in-crime isn’t at camp, and Ali knows it’s weird for her. But Abby was right, she is in it to win it.

HAO follows up by choosing Tori, which makes Ali smile. She should have done that herself as Spirit captain, but HAO is good at making people feel welcome. As competitive as she is, she’d much rather lose than make someone feel uncomfortable, and Tori is the new girl, which takes some adjusting.

Lori follows suit by choosing Crystal, and Abby predictably chooses another veteran, Boxxy. After consulting with JJ, Broon chooses Moe, and Ali overlooks Ashlyn purposefully this time to select Alex. The girls all laugh as Ashlyn rolls her eyes, and the draft continues.

In the next round, Broon sneaks a glance at Ali before taking Ashlyn, and Ali shrugs her shoulders when Ashlyn glares at her, as if to say “what can you do?”

When the teams are all sorted, everyone sets to picking out their balls, and Ashlyn comes up behind Ali. “You’re going down, Krieger,” she says.

“Oh please, you would have picked Carli and Alex over me any day,” she says.

“Depends what for,” Ashlyn retorts, smirking. “But we could make it fun.”

“Oh good,” Ali says sarcastically. “That couldn’t possibly go wrong.”

“It’s easy,” Ashlyn says. “If you beat me—individual scores, not team—I’ll bring you breakfast in bed tomorrow.”

“You’re never up before me,” Ali challenges.

“I’ll wake up at 5 a.m. if that’s what it takes,” Ashlyn says.

“Okay, so what if you win?” Ali asks.

Ashlyn raises her eyebrows. “So you’re saying that’s a possibility?” Ali narrows her eyes.

“It’s clearly not going to happen, but just so I know.”

“If I win, you have to ask Carli to switch rooms with me tonight.” Ali’s jaw drops. “We don’t actually have to go through with it. I’m just dying to see her reaction.”

Ali’s face turns bright red at the thought, but she nods. “Fine. You’re on.” She holds out her hand to shake Ashlyn’s, but Ashlyn reaches past her to grab a bowling ball, smacking her butt on the way.

Ali wants to say something inappropriate, but suddenly KO is right there to artfully select her own ball, so Ashlyn is safe for now.

Ali’s team has a huddle where Carli discusses their strategy and Ali listens intently, knowing Carli was a good choice. She shows them her form, which honestly kind of seems ridiculous, but Ali isn’t going down without a fight against Ashlyn. Now it’s personal.

The first injury of the night (because naturally there would be at least one) is Syd, who breaks a nail on her first throw and doesn’t stop talking about it the rest of the night.

“Poor baby,” Ashlyn laughs, and Syd shoots her a dirty look as she lets Ali, resident nail expert, look at it.

“If you take these fake nails off, I’ll repaint them later,” she promises, and Syd nods, still pouting.

“God, I’m glad I’ll never have to deal with those,” Ashlyn says, and Abby laughs, holding her hand up for a high five. “Ali, don’t you dare think about it,” she adds, noting the way Ali was admiring Sydney’s nails.

“Why?” A Rod asks, joining the conversation. “She’d rock them.”

The girls around her all exchange a knowing look. “Don’t think about it too hard,” Whit says. “Trust me.”

“Why?” A Rod looks genuinely confused. “Did I miss something?” Whitney leans over to whisper something in her ear, and A Rod turns bright red. “Oh. Right.”

Ali gets the first strike of the night, and when the last pin falls, everyone cheers, but she runs straight back to Ashlyn, jumping into her arms and kissing her full on the mouth. Ashlyn is just as excited, but when they remember they’re competitors, Ali jumps down and clears her throat. “Sucks to be you,” she says, winking.

Aaron Heifetz taps Ali on the shoulder, and she spins around, blushing. “Great strike, Krieger. But remember there are cameras, and editing around things like that tends to be a hassle.” He smiles, and she knows he isn’t actually mad, but she reminds herself that if a video editor accidentally misses something in the background, it’ll be game over.

When Carli sees Ali is beating her after two strikes in a row while every other team is miles behind, the internal team struggle begins, and Ashlyn sits back and waits for it to explode in their faces, making her the champion of the only challenge that really matters. Unfortunately, she doesn’t take into account that Ali is ridiculously consistent. The only thing Ashlyn seems to be consistently hitting is the gutter, which pleases Ali to no end.

When all is said and done, Carli wins by 10 points, Ali coming solidly in second, but their team, the Ballin’ Brunettes, comes in first. Ali rubs it in Ashlyn’s face after her constant stream of trash talk by not-so-innocently asking her to take a group picture of them for Instagram. Ashlyn amasses a whopping total of 80 points, which is actually on the higher side compared to some of her teammates.

“So, breakfast in bed?” Ali asks, sitting on Ashlyn’s lap and wrapping her arms around her neck, safe now that all the cameras are being packed up and the other girls are all standing around chatting.

“A deal’s a deal,” Ashlyn confirms, tilting her head back to silently ask for a kiss, which Ali grants.

“Let’s go, ladies!” Jill calls, and they all make their way toward the door. Ashlyn hangs back, and Ali turns to see her walking toward Carli. 

“Go ahead, save me my seat on the bus,” Ashlyn says. “I’ll catch up in a sec.”

Ali can’t help but turn back again, and it looks like Ashlyn and Carli are having a serious conversation, but she has no idea what they’d possibly have to talk about right now. The two of them are the last on the bus, and Carli high fives Ali on her way past. “Good game, roomie,” she says.

Ashlyn takes her seat next to Ali, and Ali’s head immediately finds her shoulder, definitely worn out from training and bowling.

“What were you guys talking about?” Ali mumbles. Ashlyn just laughs. “What?”

“Remember when I said I wanted to see how Carli would react if we asked her to switch rooms?” she asks.

“Yeah… wait. You didn’t,” Ali says, mortified.

“I did,” Ashlyn laughs, and Ali gasps.

“Ashlyn Harris!” she exclaims, hitting her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“You don’t even want to know what she said?” Ashlyn asks. Ali just stares at her. “If it makes a difference, we came to an understanding.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I’m bringing you both breakfast in bed in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your lovely words! Here are some footloose and fancy-free questions for you to answer!
> 
> 1\. Favorite moment?  
> 2\. Who would you pick for your ideal bowling team from the current USWNT roster? (You can pick five)  
> 3\. Are you having a good week so far? I sure hope you are!  
> 4\. Have you seen [this](http://krashlyntome.tumblr.com/post/128066519604/so-i-tried-something-new-ive-been-thinking) yet??? If so......thoughts? ;)
> 
> XOXOXO


	9. Blurred Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQNXr4X746M) and Ashlyn's tweet after the fact :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=317gt3m)   
> 

Ashlyn Harris prides herself on her peripheral vision. As a world-class goalkeeper (even though the modifier is still taking some getting used to), it’s her job to know what’s going on 180 degrees around her at all times, which makes her a much better driver than her girlfriend, an argument they have way too often. But even though it’s her responsibility to have an eye on the entire pitch at all times, the most important thing in her sight is always Ali.

She’s her biggest strength and weakness, because as soon as Ali disappears from her view, usually when she’s slide tackling a player on the attack or sprinting to the endline to keep a ball in play, she has to readjust. She’s never conceded a goal in the millisecond it takes to locate her, but she’ll admit there have been some close calls and scary moments here and there.

Ali’s playing center back for their first game of the season, which isn’t her favorite place to be, but Ashlyn likes having her right there. She’s marking Jess McDonald, who Ashlyn knows is someone to watch out for while in goal, but she trusts Ali to have her back, whatever it takes.

But when Ali goes up to head away a ball intended for Jess, Ashlyn immediately senses danger. And when Ali doesn’t get up immediately, Ashlyn’s body feels like it’s pulling her away from the goal. Luckily, the ref’s whistle blows to stop play, and Ashlyn is free to run to Ali, who is face down on the ground.

Ashlyn throws her arms up in frustration toward Jess, who she knows didn’t do anything wrong, as Carli jogs over to check in. Ali still hasn’t rolled over, and Ashlyn feels her heart pounding out of her chest. She walks away to catch her breath, a million thoughts racing through her head. She played a good deal of 90 minutes against New Zealand just a week ago, she’s okay, Ashlyn convinces herself. How could she not be? Against her will, her mind flashes back to that fateful day in 2012, the last time she saw Ali down for this long, and she shakes the thought away, walking back to where the lone trainer on the field is turning Ali over gently.

Ella was with her, and Ashlyn is grateful but now wants to be the only one with Ali. “Hey, breathe,” Ella says as she passes. “She needs you calm. You’re no help if you’re freaking out.”

“I’ve got it,” Ashlyn says, turning back to Ali. The trainer signals to the sideline, and one look at his face shows Ashlyn it isn’t good.

When Ashlyn leans over to see Ali’s face, her eyes are open momentarily, but she isn’t focusing, and they close again. “Hey!” Ashlyn shouts toward the sideline, pissed off that nobody is coming to help. Carli comes back, and now Ashlyn is seeing red. “Come on!” she exclaims. “This isn’t a joke,” she says to Carli. “She fucking—” She realizes she doesn’t even really know what happened exactly, just that Ali is down. The trainer with Ali is gently urging her to open her eyes, and Ashlyn feels Carli hovering and someone else approaching, but she keeps her eyes on Ali.

The trainer starts asking questions, and Ali looks flustered and lost, and Ashlyn just wants him to leave her alone for God’s sake. She puts an arm around Ali’s body protectively, leaning in. Ali’s eyes, filled with tears, look toward her but don’t focus, and Ashlyn silently prays that she’ll just make eye contact for a second, clenching her jaw to remain stoic and not freak Ali out.

“Do you know where you are?” the trainer asks gently.

“I— on the field,” Ali says, wiping the tears from her eyes..

“Yes, but what city?” he asks. Ali looks to Ashlyn for an answer, and Ashlyn is relieved that she knows who she is at least.

“We’re in Houston, baby. Playing the Dash,” she urges, and Ali nods like she remembers but still looks confused.

“Let her answer,” the trainer says, and Ashlyn wants to kill him.

“Houston,” Ali says, missing the usual confidence in her sure answers.

“Who scored last?”

“Nobody if Ashlyn was in goal,” she says with a smile, and Ashlyn bites her lip.

“What month is it?” he asks.

Ali thinks for a second before saying “April.”

“And the date?”

“I wouldn’t know that anyway,” she sighs, and Ashlyn laughs despite herself, knowing it’s true.

“How did you get here?” he asks.

“I don’t remember,” Ali says. “Probably the bus. But I don’t remember it happening.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I’m scared. What’s going on?” She looks at Ashlyn, who has never seen that kind of fear in her eyes.

“It’s going to be okay,” Ashlyn assures her. Ali’s breathing harder now, tearing up more as she starts to hyperventilate. “Shhh, honey, it’s okay. You’re fine. I’m here,” she says. It’s killing her not to touch Ali, but she knows there’s a protocol for a reason, and she stays slightly back as the emergency crew stabilizes Ali’s neck with a brace.

They pull out the board to slide Ali onto, and Ashlyn has to step back. “Stay,” Ali begs.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Ashlyn says, standing up. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She moves to her other side.

“Stand back please,” one of the guys says, and she shoots him a look.

“I’m helping,” she says. “Let me help.” They end up allowing her to help slide the board underneath Ali as they all hold her body steady as to not rattle her brain any further. Ashlyn appreciates all the precautions, but they terrify her at the same time. They ask Ali to move her feet and her knees, which she does without issue, and Ashlyn is relieved.

Ali’s eyes are still filled with tears that have fallen down the sides of her face, and Ashlyn wants to take off her gloves and wipe them away, but she can’t. “Don’t cry, baby,” she says. “Your mascara is running.” She smiles, and Ali gives her a shaky smile back before bursting into tears again. “No, no, Alex,” she says. “I’m kidding, you look as beautiful as ever.”

When they start to apply the straps to hold Ali onto the board, they don’t even question whether Ashlyn will help, they just hand her a strap. “Go tell Coach what’s going on,” the trainer says.

“No, that’s your job!” Ashlyn retorts. “I’m staying right here.”

“Ash,” Ali says softly. “I’m not going anywhere. Go.” She squeezes Ashlyn’s arm gently, and Ashlyn reluctantly gets up to jog off to the sideline.

“You alright?” Parsons asks, and Ashlyn nods, not even convincing herself.

“I’m okay, she’s… not really,” she says. “She didn’t know where she was or what happened. She’s in pain and she was really dizzy at first.”

“Shit,” he curses. “Can you stay in?”

“Do I have a choice?” Ashlyn asks. He gives her a look that she reads to mean that it’s not the time for sarcasm. “Yeah. I’m okay. I just want her to be okay.”

“She will,” he says, but he has even less way of knowing that than she does. “Go on, she’ll be missing you. Thanks.” Ashlyn nods before jogging back to Ali.

“I’m sorry,” Ali says when she sees Ashlyn again. “I’m sorry.”

Ashlyn shakes her head, smiling, and kneels down beside her, resting one hand on Ali’s thigh. It’s so like Ali to take responsibility for something completely out of her control. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says, patting her leg a few times. “Breathe.” Ali takes a few deep breaths, and Ashlyn nods. “That’s it.”

“We’re about ready to take her off,” one of the medical staff says.

“I’ll be with you as soon as I can,” Ashlyn promises.

“Don’t go yet,” Ali says.

“Not a chance,” Ashlyn agrees, wiping some of the grass and dirt from Ali’s forehead. She stands to make room for the staff and squats near Ali’s head, making small talk to distract her from what’s going on. “Is this just your way of getting out of the hotel tonight? Because it’s really not so bad.” She stands back, taking a deep, shaky breath as the crew lifts Ali onto the stretcher. She just has to keep it together for Ali just a few more minutes. Then it’s back to business.

“I want a kiss,” Ali says, and Ashlyn wants nothing more than to bow to her every whim.

“That’s the brain injury talking,” Ashlyn says with a smile. “If you were in your right mind, you know you’d get one, so don’t test me.”

“Ich liebe dich,” Ali says, and Ashlyn’s smile widens.

“I love you too, Alex,” she says. “But I prefer you in one piece, so please stop hurting yourself.” Ali brings her hands to rest on her stomach, and Ashlyn puts a hand over them, squeezing them in reassurance. When they get ready to move her off the field, Ashlyn leans back toward her. “Give them a wave so they know you’re okay, princess.” She accompanies the stretcher off the field. “I love you, you’re okay, okay?”

Ali tries to nod, but tears up again when she realizes she can’t. “I love you,” she says again. Ashlyn squeezes her hand before running to join the team. As soon as she’s gone, Ali reaches for someone else’s hand, squeezing her eyes shut and pretending she’s still there.

Ashlyn keeps her eye on the stretcher, half hoping they keep it on the sidelines and half hoping they take her away so she won’t be constantly checking on her, but she knows it won’t matter either way. She wants to win it, but she’s not going to be her usual self as long as Ali’s status is a mystery.

She concedes a goal to Carli in stoppage time, which feels like a punch in the gut even though that’s just the nature of the game. She’s the first off the field at halftime, where the medics tell her Ali is on her way to the hospital as a precaution, but she’ll be fine. She doesn’t know if she can believe them.

At the end of the game, after another goal lost to Kealia Ohai, Ashlyn can only shrug when Carli asks how Ali’s doing, but when she gets back to the locker room, she has texts from Ali, and she can finally breathe again.

“I remembered what day it is!” says the first one. “Sorry for the scare. Hurry back to me, I miss you ;),” says the second. “Ouch. Watching Twitter for updates. I’m sorry :( Not our night. I would have stopped those from getting to you.”

Ashlyn can’t help but smile. “Yes you would have, and you would have lost multiple limbs doing it,” she says. “I’m coming as soon as I can.”

Parsons calls an Uber to take the two of them to the hospital, and they ride in silence for the most part, Mark trying to make small talk here and there, but it doesn’t take. When they get there, he hangs back to talk to the medics. “I wouldn’t dare go in first,” he says. “I’m sure you’re the only one she really cares to see.”

Ali’s eyes are closed when Ashlyn walks in, but when she nears her bed, they open, and Ali smiles. “Hey, pretty girl,” Ashlyn says quietly, noting the weird silence usually present in hospitals despite how busy they are. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I have a really bad headache,” she says. “The light in here sucks.” Ashlyn leans down to kiss her forehead gently, and Ali’s eyes flutter shut. 

“You scared me, you know,” Ashlyn says, pulling up a chair.

“Lay with me,” Ali says, and Ashlyn’s eyes narrow. “I’m not hooked up to anything, just the heart rate monitor. There’s room, come on.” Her voice is so slow, so much like when she’s close to sleep, that Ashlyn can’t resist. She slides beside her easily, being sure not to jostle Ali, and she is finally able to breathe for the first time since Ali got injured when she rests her head on her shoulder.

“What did they say?” Ashlyn asks.

“Concussion,” Ali says. “It’s pretty bad, but I’ll be okay. Jill called.”

“Yeah?” Ashlyn says, a little surprised that she would have been watching.

“I think someone contacted her,” Ali says, as if she can read Ashlyn’s mind. “She asked how I was feeling and told me to get better and that she’d check in tomorrow when we’re back in DC.”

“That was nice of her,” Ashlyn says.

Ali nods silently, content to snuggle into Ashlyn’s side. “Thanks for staying with me,” she says. “You love me so well.”

“I have a lot of experience,” Ashlyn says. “Loving you, I mean. Even before you knew. Even when I didn’t want to. Especially then.”

“Rude,” Ali says. “You can’t resist my charm.”

“Please,” Ashlyn says. “I could barely keep you from jumping my bones after our first date.”

“As if you tried to stop me,” Ali laughs, blushing because it’s true. As Ashlyn presses another kiss to her temple, Mark and a doctor walk in, and she straightens up, moving to get off the bed as if her parents just walked in on her in a compromising position.

“You’re fine,” the doctor says, laughing. “She does smile way more than most concussion patients, but I hadn’t seen her smiling quite that big till you got here. A nurse will be in soon to discharge you, but I’ve sent all your information to the doctors at U.S. Soccer, so everything should be set. Any questions?”

“No,” Ali says. “Thank you for everything.” When the doctor sees himself out, Mark gives Ali a look.

“Stop doing that to me. We’re fucked without you. She’s certainly fucked without you,” he says, nodding toward Ashlyn, who sticks her tongue out at him. Since Mark becoming their coach and Ali becoming captain, the three of them have grown close, and he and his wife often have them over for dinner and board game nights.

“I’ll definitely try,” Ali laughs. “I can’t play for the next few weeks.”

“I know,” he says. “I spoke with the doctor. And I have about eight calls from Dawn Scott I need to return. You’ll be very well taken care of, you needn’t worry. But for tonight—” He glances at Ashlyn. “Harris, can I trust you to take care of her?”

Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “I’ve got it.”

“Perfect,” he says. “I’m going to call Dawn now, and there’s a car waiting for you both when you get out of here.” As he walks out the door, he turns back to remind them of one thing. “No strenuous activity!”

~

Ashlyn barely sleeps that night, constantly concerned with checking on Ali to make sure she’s still breathing. The nurse assured her the coast was clear and there was no need to worry, but worry she does.

When her alarm goes off, she is wide awake to quickly shut it off so it won’t hurt Ali’s head. “Hey,” she murmurs, scratching Ali’s back gently. “Time to get up.”

“Only if you kiss me,” Ali mumbles, rolling over so she’s on her back. Ashlyn does as she’s told, but she’s always falling for Ali’s tricks. Ali pulls her closer, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and legs around her waist to keep kissing her. After a few more long kisses, Ashlyn comes to her senses and detaches from Ali, who pouts. “Hey, I’m not damaged goods!” she protests.

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “But we do have a plane to catch, and you have yet to shower or put on mascara, and God only knows how long it’ll take you to pick out an outfit to sit in a huge metal container for three hours.”

“Fine,” Ali agrees, sitting up slowly. She can definitely feel the pain in her head, but it’s duller than it was last night. It still takes her a second to adjust, which Ashlyn notices, sitting beside her to help her up. “You don’t need to babysit me,” she says, rolling her eyes. Which hurts. Then an idea occurs to her. “Then again. What if I fall in the shower? I’m just so off balance.” She pouts extra dramatically, practically batting her eyelashes.

Ashlyn groans, checking the nightstand alarm clock for the time. They have 35 minutes till they have to be in the lobby ready to go. “Fine. Only because that knot on your head makes you irresistible,” she teases.

They make it to the lobby with just moments to spare. Of course, they blame it on the head injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now maybe my Tumblr query will make a bit more sense... ;)
> 
> QUESTIONSSSS!!!! I love reading your answers to these, but you definitely don't have to answer them, all comments are IMMENSELY appreciated <3  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. Feels???? (Not a yes/no question, I WANT TO KNOW ALL THE FEELS)  
> 3\. NWSL predictions/hopes for the coming days? Every game counts right now (except Thorns/Flash...sorry guys), especially for the Spirit, which is super terrifying but FUN.  
> 4\. What do you want to see more of?  
> 5\. If you had a collision like Ali's, which USWNT players (I'll give you 3) would you want by your side? I always feel bad for not giving you MY answers to these, so mine would be Ali, Cap, and Cheney for sure.
> 
> P.S. If you don't have a horse in the NWSL race, please root extra hard for mine because I'll be out of the country and unable to watch the Spirit v. Reign game!!! LET'S GET THAT SPIRIT WIN (and Chicago loss preferably.... but I'll settle for a draw if it comes down to it...)


	10. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X48nREYd6kQ). I took some creative liberties. What else is new ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday everyone! Or whatever day it is wherever you are in the world whenever you're reading this :) This one was really fun for me... and pretty emotional too! I hope you enjoy <3 Stay tuned for questions!

Ali knocks on Ashlyn’s door on her way to shower after her morning run, but Pinoe answers.

“Did you not get the memo?” Pinoe asks, looking her up and down. “It’s our day off.”

Ali rolls her eyes, laughing. “Thanks, Pinoe. Is Ashlyn here?”

“Yes, but she’s sleeping, like a sane person who doesn’t wake up at stupid o’clock to sweat… for fun?”

Ali pushes past her to see Ashlyn, who’s completely passed out in her bed. Pinoe has gone into the bathroom and closed the door, so Ali climbs into the bed beside her, only disturbing Ashlyn enough that she turns over.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” she murmurs, kissing her forehead. She wriggles her body down the bed so she’s face to face with Ashlyn, and she can’t help but take her in. She looks so peaceful and angelic when she sleeps, and Ali has been missing waking up beside her lately. Ali puts her hand over Ashlyn’s hand, gently pressing her thumb into her palm. She brings Ashlyn’s hand to her lips, kissing her fingertips. “Wake up.” Ashlyn’s eyelids are fluttering, and Ali knows it’s working. She realizes Ashlyn might be faking sleep now, but she doesn’t care. She moves her hand to Ashlyn’s hair, scratching her scalp gently. She leans in to press a kiss to the skin right below her ear before nipping her earlobe gently. She can feel the hair on Ashlyn’s neck stand up as she starts to stir.

“What did I do to deserve this wake-up call, Pinoe?” she mumbles, and Ali pulls back suddenly, looking at her in disbelief, but she’s laughing. “I’m teasing,” she says. “Good morning. How are you this hot when you’re sweating?”

“Special skill,” Ali tells her, and Ashlyn lifts the corner of her bed’s comforter to allow Ali to slide in. “You don’t want my grimy sweat in your bed.”

“Housekeeping,” Ashlyn mumbles, sleep clouding her voice. “Get in, I want to make out.”

“Um, you haven’t brushed your teeth,” Ali reminds her, but she gets under the covers anyway.

“Whatever,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali close and wrapping her arms around her. “I just like having you right here.”

Ali nuzzles her head into her girlfriend, her eyelashes brushing Ashlyn’s neck when she blinks. “What are you doing today?” she asks.

“This,” Ashlyn says.

“Well we can do this for a little bit, but then I have to shower and change to go hang out with Kyle,” Ali says. “He’s coming to pick me up.”

“Oh,” Ashlyn says. “Have fun I guess.”

“Hey,” Ali says, sensing the annoyance in Ashlyn’s voice. “I miss him.”

“I know you do,” Ashlyn says. “I’m just confused as to why I wasn’t included in the plan.”

“Ash, you can come,” Ali says. “I’m sorry, I just thought you’d rather hang with Pinoe and the gals.”

“I’d rather hang out with you any day,” Ashlyn says just as Pinoe makes her presence known.

“I’m offended,” she says. “I’m a fucking gem.”

Ali laughs, moving away from Ashlyn against her protests and sitting up in bed. “You really are,” she agrees. “Is Whit going to be upset about me stealing you?” she asks Ashlyn, who rolls her eyes.

“Alex, you have got to let that go,” she says. She’s referring to an argument that wasn’t even really an argument a few months ago with Whitney about spending best friend time together. It was a weird time, but they’ve figured it out, and Whit loves Ali.

“I’m just asking!” Ali insists. “I want you there. Promise. Besides, I could use you for moral support.”

“Meaning?” Ashlyn asks, and Ali takes a deep breath, looking toward Pinoe, who doesn’t seem to realize she’s kind of intruding. Then again, it is her room.

Pinoe just raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, Kriegy. Meaning?”

Ali laughs and rolls her eyes. “Fine, you’re a pest. So, Kyle wants to film a video for his YouTube page, and he wants to do this Q-and-A thing. He sent me the questions, and I think…” she hesitates. “I think it would be a good opportunity to talk about… things.”

“Things?” Pinoe asks, but Ashlyn looks concerned.

“Like… I don’t know, there’s a question about journeys, and when I was thinking about my answers, I think it’s my sexuality.”

“Oh, sweet!” Pinoe says, but Ashlyn is silent. “Well, uh, I say go for it, Kriegs. But I’ve gotta go meet Syd now to, uh, yeah. I’ll see you guys later!” She is out the door by the time the last word is out, but Ali is just looking at Ashlyn, waiting for a reaction.

“Is that okay with you?” Ali asks.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “Whatever you want.”

“That doesn’t sound convincing,” Ali says.

“It’s fine. Do it,” Ashlyn says, but it doesn’t get more emphatic.

“Don’t be passive aggressive,” Ali sighs. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t. I love you too much to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“You know, Al,” Ashlyn says, and Ali can tell she’s now ready to say exactly what’s on her mind. “I think it’s kind of fucked up that you’ve kept the most quiet about us, and your reaction when I post certain things makes me feel like you’re uncomfortable. That’s fine. I believe in us. I trust you, I trust what we have. If you want to keep it low-key, that’s fine. I love you. But then you completely flip the narrative and now you want to go out there shouting it from the rooftops. I don’t get it.”

“It’s not that,” Ali says, not even sure what ‘that’ is. “I do want to keep things quiet, at least about us. Baby steps, you know?”

“Oh, that makes me feel great,” Ashlyn scoffs.

“That’s not what I mean,” Ali insists. “I want what we have to be ours. If we take pictures, if we hold hands, hell, if we make out in public, I don’t care. I just don’t want to give people the satisfaction of making some grand announcement that we’re a couple. Because you’re like the other half of me. Announcing it feels… redundant. I don’t know.”

“But you want to tell the world you’re… sexually open to whatever? What’s the point?” Ashlyn asks, and she knows she hit a sore spot. Ali doesn’t label herself, and it’s always been a source of frustration to Ashlyn, who wishes there was just some easier more solid way to describe her. It’s always been so easy for Ashlyn, and she doesn’t get why it’s different for Ali.

“The point is that I—we—are going—if all goes according to plan—to the World Cup in a few months,” Ali says. “Do you remember Pinoe’s interview before the Olympics? Do you know how scary that had to be for her?”

“She wasn’t really closeted before,” Ashlyn says.

“No, but that doesn’t matter,” Ali says. “If I go into something this monumental without taking ownership over who I am, I’ll feel like a fraud. I don’t want little girls looking up to me not knowing the whole story. I want them to look up to me because of everything, not because I’m some family-friendly soccer player. I want to be me, completely. And I want to make a difference to someone the way that Pinoe made a difference to me. The way that you have completely changed me.” Ali’s eyes are bloodshot now from the tears that are threatening to spill. “Is that acceptable to you?”

“Of course,” Ashlyn exhales, wrapping Ali back up in her arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” Ali says. “I love you so much. I’m not ashamed of that. But I don’t want that to be the story. I don’t want it to be some love story about two teammates and have people speculating about whether we belong on the same team or if I fuck something up to make it about you. That’s not what it’s about, and you’re too important for that. You are a huge part of my story, probably the biggest part. But that story doesn’t help a little girl who doesn’t understand why she has crushes on girls, or girls and boys. That story tells people it’s okay to be who you are as long as you find your soulmate or you’re in a happy, committed relationship. And who does that help?”

“You’re right,” Ashlyn says. “If that’s what you want to do, I’m behind you. One hundred percent.”

Ali smiles, tilting her head back to offer up a kiss, and Ashlyn kisses her quickly before they both scrunch up their noses. “Brush your teeth,” Ali says.

~

Kyle is there an hour later, and after coffee and chatting with some of the girls, all of whom adore him, they’re on the road to Kyle’s apartment away from the commotion of camp. He takes them to one of his favorite spots for lunch and pretends to be interested in their answers when he asks how camp is going.

They talk about his work and his photography and his new YouTube venture, which he seems really excited about it. Ashlyn watches Ali watch Kyle as he talks, and the grin on Ali’s face makes Ashlyn’s light up. She’s always in a strange sort of position as the third wheel to their duo, but they never make her feel left out, always cluing her in on the inside jokes. But there’s something about their bond she’ll never be able to break through, not that she would ever want to.

And Ali’s sure there is never a situation that could make her quite as happy as being surrounded by the two people she loves most in the world.

Kyle’s roommate, Benny, comes to meet them, and neither woman is ever sure if his “friends” are always just friends, so they screen them all for potential long-term status either way. When they get back to Kyle’s apartment, his video equipment is already set up, and he recruits Benny to do the behind the scenes work, offering Ashlyn a lemonade and the chance to just relax and hang out.

Of course, she’s more than okay just watching along as they record their intro and Ali starts getting in the groove of being on camera. She comes alive around Kyle, and Ashlyn loves seeing her like this. One day, she thinks, they’ll move closer to him or he’ll move closer to them, and Ali will get to be around him all the time. Ashlyn would move anywhere to see that look on Ali’s face every day.

Ali’s eyes flicker to Ashlyn every once in a while, and Ashlyn always smiles back, careful not to laugh out loud, even when Kyle calls Ali out on her mascara problem. When Benny asks “What is your idea of perfect happiness?” Ali only misses a beat to glance at Ashlyn and smile before turning to Kyle and answering.

“Having coffee in the morning with the person I love,” she says, and Ashlyn swears her heart skips a beat thinking about mornings in their breakfast nook in D.C., Ali wearing one of Ashlyn’s oversized UNC shirts that she pretends she hates but always manages to slip on before bed.

When they get to the question about what their greatest extravagance is and Ali answers “online shopping,” Ashlyn can’t help but to laugh. “And my shoe collection,” Ali finishes.

“Your shoe collection, your purse collection, your lip gloss collection…” Ashlyn says, and Ali glances over to give a dramatic eye roll before letting Kyle give his answer.

“My greatest extravagance is eating out—” Ashlyn chokes back a laugh before he says “every single meal of the day, for sure,” but it doesn’t seem to register with Ali until he says it again, and she practically throws back her head laughing, but lets him finish.

“What?” he asks.

“I thought you don’t do that,” Ashlyn says, and she watches him think back to what he said before realizing. They all laugh and he blushes, rolling his eyes like she’s seen Ali do so many times.

“You’re all pervs,” he says, acting indignant. “Enough out of you, this is going to be hard enough to edit as is.”

“You love me,” Ashlyn reminds him.

The next question is the one Ali had told her about, and Ashlyn catches her eye when the question is asked and nods. Kyle answers first, a more by-the-book answer about the walk he takes every morning with his dog to get coffee. If the people of the Internet don’t realize by now how coffee-obsessed the Kriegers are, nothing will ever show them.

“My favorite journey is probably the one I’m living right now,” she says, pausing as she thinks of what to say. Kyle tries to make her feel comfortable, not even knowing what’s coming. “Of feeling, um, totally confident and comfortable and free with my sexuality.” She turns to Kyle, smiling, to see his reaction, and he seems genuinely surprised.

“Alex—” he starts, but she won’t let him say whatever it is.

“I’m ready,” she says. “Ashlyn and I talked about it. I just think it’s the right time.” Kyle looks over to Ashlyn, who nods.

“I’m proud of you, sis,” he says. “Both of you. I’ll try not to cry, okay?”

“Go on, Al,” Ashlyn says, smiling. The camera is still rolling, but none of this will make it to the final cut.

“I feel a bit resistant toward I guess normative expectations and standards of work and relationships,” she says, and Ashlyn feels a lump in her throat. Where is she going with this? “And I feel like, for me, I totally feel more confident now than I guess I was in my twenties with who I am and who I want to become and the woman I am now.” Her eyes flicker toward Ashlyn. “I think this has been a long journey for me, and…” she trails off.

“So would you say you’re…” Kyle starts, suggesting that she maybe go a bit more detailed, and Ashlyn knows this is where Ali will get flustered, so she just makes eye contact, nodding her ahead.

“I don’t label myself,” she says. “It’s been a hard journey.” Then she breaks.

Ashlyn is to her feet in a heartbeat, but Ali’s head is in Kyle’s chest. Kyle looks up at Ashlyn with concern in his eyes, and she sits on the other side of Ali, scratching her back. “Alex, that was perfect,” she says. “You did it, that’s all it took. Baby steps.”

Ali is breathing deeply, trying to stop the tears, but they keep coming. When she pulls back from Kyle, though, she’s smiling. “I’m so relieved,” she says. “I know I’m just—I’m just saying it in front of you guys, but it feels bigger. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted.” Kyle is getting misty now, and Ashlyn would be lying if she said she couldn’t cry.

“I love you, kid,” Kyle says. “This is going to be an awesome thing for you.”

“It’s going to be an awesome thing for a lot of people,” Ashlyn says, and Ali nods. “Here, let me fix you,” Ashlyn says, holding Ali’s face in her hands and wiping away any mascara that ran with the tears. “There. Good as new.”

Ali leans forward to peck her on the lips. “Thank you,” she says. “I love you so much.”

Ashlyn goes back to sit on the floor behind the camera, and Ali takes a few more moments to breathe, letting out a huge sigh before Kyle continues with the video.

“I really feel like, that the soul has no gender,” he says. “And that the most important thing that we’re here to do is to give healthy love, and to be loved.” Ali nods, smiling. “And it doesn’t necessarily matter what the physical form of the person that you’re giving that love or receiving that love to, it’s the most important thing to do while we’re here.”

The video continues without a hitch or major interruption after that, but when Benny asks what the greatest love of their life is, Ali can’t help but to look at Ashlyn. When Kyle expresses that he would like his talent to be laying in bed all day and making money from it, Ashlyn can’t help but remind him that that exists, and it’s called prostitution.

When the camera is finally off, it feels like the whole room breathes a sigh of relief, and Ashlyn climbs onto the couch to hug Ali and Kyle. “I’m so proud of you,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali on the cheek with every other word.

“I’m proud of me too,” Ali says. She wants to bottle this feeling of elation and freedom and love from the two most important people in her life and hold onto it forever. And two days later, when he uploads the video and the tweets and messages of support come rolling in, she rewatches it with Ashlyn and realizes she doesn’t really need to bottle it because as long as she has Ashlyn and Kyle, that feeling will be her constant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about posting this one, only partly because I'm currently sitting in an airport bar sipping a Long Island Iced Tea on a Friday afternoon before flying out to Playa del Carmen for the weekend! Ay ay ay! I hope you all enjoy and leave me lots of love and comments as usual ;) It really makes my heart all fluttery to see "Inbox (1)" when I check my AO3, and even happier to see "Inbox (23)" (okay, that's never happened, but how cool would that be? Plus 23 is my favorite number #TheMoreYouKnow)
> 
> Here are some questions! I've been loving how detailed you guys are getting with your answers :)
> 
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. More Pinoe? More Kyle? Yes? No? Ideas??  
> 3\. Any fun Labor Day plans?  
> 4\. Picks for any/all NWSL awards??? (Golden Boot, Rookie of the Year, GK of the Year, Coach of the Year—CLEARLY Paul Riley.....lololol, Defender of the Year, MVP)  
> 5\. I'm also watching Romania v. Hungary right now... who should I be rooting for? I'll probably see this too late, but I love when other people make decisions for me)  
> 6\. What did you like about this chapter? Is there anything you didn't like? What do you want to see more of in the future?
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks so much for reading and thanks in advance for commenting ;)


	11. Tough Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About that loss to the Reign on Saturday night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick little chapter I wanted to write with post-loss feelings I had to get out. Here's hoping for another chapter next week after a WIN!

When the final whistle blows, Ali thinks it’s the first time she’s ever been grateful for a game to be over when her team is down. It’s a loss, but more than that, it’s the crappiest she’s ever felt after a game, and she’s just glad it’s over.

She can barely make eye contact with her teammates even though she knows she should be a good captain and say something encouraging. She forces a smile as she goes through the handshakes, going back over every missed touch and unforced error she made tonight in her head.

“Your poker face is shit,” Hope says when she passes by, giving Ali a hug. “Nice game, though. Seriously.”

Ali nods, clenching her jaw. “You too. Is your shoulder okay?”

“Doesn’t feel great,” Hope says. “I’ll survive.”

“Well, guess we’ll see you next week,” Ali says.

“Don’t sound so excited,” Hope jokes. “Gotta admit, seeing you in mid was a little unsettling.”

“You’re not the only one who feels that way,” Ali says, nodding over to Ashlyn, who’s shaking hands with the referees.

“Uh, yeah,” Hope says. “I’d be pissed if they moved any of my defenders forward. Jill better not get any ideas with you.”

“Not a chance,” Ali says, moving along. Hope pats her shoulder one more time as they pass.

When she gets to Pinoe, she gives her a quick hug, and Pinoe smiles guiltily. “Sorry for scoring on your woman,” she says.

“I know you just wanted to see us next week,” Ali says, genuinely smiling for the first time. “Don’t try that again.”

“No promises,” Pinoe says, grinning at someone behind her. Ali turns and sees Ashlyn approaching to hug Pinoe. “Hey, nice game,” she says.

“Screw you,” Ashlyn laughs. “Pretty low of you to take advantage of me when you know I was missing the best part of my back line.”

Pinoe shrugs. “Couldn’t resist,” she says.

“Krieger! Harris!” Parsons calls, and they hug Pinoe goodbye as they jog over to join the huddle.

“Hey, you good?” Ashlyn asks. Ali just shrugs, not in the mood to talk.

When Parsons finishes his post-game talk, she tries giving a pep talk, but it probably sounds just as fake as it feels. She tries to get through signing autographs as quickly as possible, but before she can escape to the locker room, Ashlyn makes her way over.

“Are you mad at me?” Ashlyn asks, and Ali has to actively try not to roll her eyes.

“No, myself,” she says, keeping her voice low so the fans nearby can’t hear. “Not here, okay?”

“Okay,” Ashlyn agrees, and Ali doesn’t miss the wounded puppy look as she slinks away. She might feel bad most days, but now she’s just annoyed.

When she finally makes it down the line and to the locker room, she can’t gather her things fast enough. She wishes she had taken her own car because now she’s at Ashlyn’s mercy, but luckily Ashlyn is just as ready to leave when she gets to the locker room.

“Ready?” Ash asks, and Ali just nods, grabbing her bag and walking ahead toward the car. Ashlyn doesn’t unlock it till she gets close enough to beat Ali to the door, which she opens for her. “Hey. Don’t take it out on me,” she says.

“I’m not,” Ali says. “Just not in the mood to talk.”

Ashlyn looks around and kisses her quickly for good measure before getting in to drive home in silence, Ali staring either out the window or at her phone the whole time. When they get home, Ali can’t get out of the car fast enough, and Ashlyn stays put long enough for Ali to realize she doesn’t have a key. When she turns around and stares at Ashlyn, Ashlyn almost expects her to start tapping her foot impatiently.

“You have got to relax before we go out,” Ashlyn says.

“I’m not going,” Ali says.

“Alex,” Ashlyn says. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not in the mood,” she says. “I’m just going to go to bed.”

“I had a much shittier night, Al,” Ashlyn says.

“What if you don’t compare us?” Ali says. “At least you made decent saves. I’m allowed to have a crappy game without you making it about yourself.”

“Wow,” Ashlyn says, breathing out a laugh. “I was trying to make you feel better. You’re a piece of work.”

“How is telling me I don’t have the right to be upset supposed to make me feel better?” she asks.

“You know, I was looking forward to this game, and I was really optimistic we’d pull out a win,” Ashlyn says. “But I was much more excited about knowing that win or lose, I’d get to spend a night out with my beautiful girlfriend.”

“Don’t guilt trip me,” Ali says.

“Guilt trip? No,” Ashlyn says. “Stay home for all I care. But don’t expect me to attend your pity party, because that’s not the Ali Krieger I know and love. You can be a pretty sore loser, I’ve seen it firsthand when we play Monopoly with your family. But your mental game is too strong for this bullshit. If this is how you react, we might as well not even go to Seattle next weekend because we’ve already lost.”

“Haven’t we?” Ali shoots back. “That’s what everyone else thinks.”

“Since when has that ever mattered to you?” Ashlyn asks. “You live to prove people wrong. What’s really going on?” She pushes a stray strand of hair off Ali’s forehead, and Ali’s eyes flutter shut at her touch.

“I don’t know,” Ali says. “That just sucked. We could have won. We should have won. And then we barely played.”

“Some people made some serious mistakes,” Ashlyn concedes. “Both you and I among those. But you can’t control everyone. What’s important now is to realize that they didn’t win because they’re the better team, they won because we didn’t show up. There’s power in that. If we just accepted that we did our best and they’re just better, we’re fucked for the semifinals. We have control over our performance. You’re our captain. You need to be the first one to bounce back from this and show everyone else what we’re about. If you act defeated, you’ll play defeated, and so will everyone else. Do you want that? Or do you want to win?”

“I want to win,” Ali says quietly, leaning in to bury her face in Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn wraps her arms around her waist.

“Then let’s win,” Ashlyn says. “And let’s go have a good night tonight before getting down to business.”

“Or we could get down to business before going out,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn’s neck softly. “We do need to shower first.”

“Only if you promise to wear that new top I like, with the lace,” Ashlyn says, but she’s already a puddle on the ground at Ali’s feet. She feels Ali nodding against her neck as she nips at it, and Ashlyn picks her up, making Ali squeal as she carries her toward the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so so so many ideas for updates and I can never figure out where to start! Bear with me please :) Comments are cool as always ;) Thanks for all the amazing ones on the last chapter! That was such a fun one to write, and I'm glad it impacted some people in a positive way. The greatest reward! P.S. 333 days till the Olympics.
> 
> QUESTIONZ:  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. (I'm sure I'm going to regret asking this one, but) Thoughts on the game/#Number2Gate? (If you don't know what I'm talking about, search Tumblr idk man, or don't because you're probably better off not knowing)  
> 3\. What's your dream starting XI for the Spirit next weekend? I'll tell you mine: Harris; Krieger, Oyster, Johnson, Reynolds; Huster, Lohman, Nairn; Ordega, Dunn, Matheson (Feel free to share that with M**k P*****s, he needs help)


	12. Partners in Crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, you _had_ to know this one was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I died over this. Yes, I'm terribly sad the Spirit are out of the final. But hey, we'll get 'em next year, right? ;)
> 
> P.S. Since the last time I posted, I wrote a [Krashlyn one-shot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4802711) that I'm super proud of, and I just (like five minutes ago) posted a [brand new super short standalone fic about the New Kids](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4833260).
> 
> If you don't already, follow me at krashlyntome.tumblr.com! My ask box is always open to gush over Ali and Ash, and I love new friends :)

Ali pours herself a second glass of wine and turns up the volume on the vintage record player Ashlyn bought her for her birthday.

_My heart is drenched in wine, but you’ll be on my mind forever_ , Norah Jones croons, and Ali feels herself relax completely as she stirs the pasta sauce she made from scratch using Ashlyn’s grandma’s recipe.

“Hurry,” she types, attaching a picture to a text to Ashlyn. She realizes too late she shouldn’t have sent it considering Ashlyn is probably still driving home from practice, but she should be close enough.

Like clockwork, she hears the front door open. “Honey, I’m home!” Ashlyn calls. “What smells so good?” She walks into the kitchen and her jaw drops as she takes in the sight before her.

Ali is dressed in the tightest little black dress she could find, and when Ashlyn walks in, she’s bent over the oven, pulling out fresh garlic bread.

“Wow. This is the hottest I’ve ever been for you,” Ashlyn says, and Ali walks toward her to kiss her. “God I’m glad I showered at practice.”

“Me too,” Ali says. “Are you sure that doesn’t have anything to do with the picture I sent you?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“What?” Ashlyn says, pulling out her phone. “I didn’t get a—oh.” Ali had taken a very artful mirror selfie after getting out of the shower but before doing anything else, including putting on clothes. “That definitely helps.”

“It’ll have to wait,” Ali says, kissing her quickly on the lips. “Dinner’s ready.”

“It’s only like 5,” Ashlyn groans. “It can wait.”

“Nope,” Ali says. “I slaved over this, you’re going to enjoy it fresh like it was meant to be enjoyed.”

_Come away with me in the night, come away with me and I will write you a song_ , Ashlyn hears from the record player, smiling as she makes her way into the dining room.

“You must be feeling amorous,” Ashlyn says, sitting at the table. “Norah Jones only comes out when you want some loving.”

“Of course I do,” Ali murmurs, setting down Ashlyn’s plate in front of her. She kisses her, and Ashlyn pulls her down into her lap, where Ali settles for a moment, deepening the kiss before pulling away reluctantly. “Not now,” she says. “Eat. I have a big night planned for you, and you’ll need your energy.”

“Baby, you really shouldn’t have,” Ashlyn says, twisting the spaghetti onto her fork.

“I wanted to,” Ali says, sitting beside her. She lets her toes find Ashlyn’s calf under the table, running them down her leg to make Ashlyn shiver. “I’m going to miss you this weekend.”

Ashlyn sets her fork down, swallowing. “Yeah,” she says. “Me too.” She doesn’t reach to pick the fork back up.

“Eat,” Ali says, taking a bite of garlic bread. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” Ashlyn says. “I was upset. I mean, when everything just got all screwed up. I was never upset with you.”

“I know,” Ali says. “I’m scared for Sunday, though.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll hold it down,” Ashlyn says.

“Not about the team,” Ali says. “I think you guys will be fine without me. Just scared to see the reaction.”

“Don’t be,” Ashlyn says. “If people are mad, they’ll have me to answer to.” She leans forward to kiss Ali again, her hand on her neck. She deepens the kiss, not caring if Ali shuts her down again, but they’re interrupted by the incessant dinging of Ali’s phone. “Ignore it,” she mumbles against her lips.

“I can’t,” Ali groans. “Hang on, I’ll go turn it off.” She gets up to grab her phone from the kitchen, and Ashlyn sighs contentedly, taking her first bite of garlic bread. “Shit. Shit shit shit.”

“What’s that, babe?” Ashlyn asks, turning her head to the doorway where Ali is standing, face pale.

“Mark told the press,” she says. “He texted me to warn me but I’ve already gotten like six interview requests.”

“Told them what?” Ashlyn asks.

“That I won’t be playing Sunday,” Ali says. Ashlyn stands, trying to get to her before she opens Twitter, but when she starts scrolling, she knows she’s too late.

“Alex,” Ashlyn says, grabbing the phone from her, but it’s too late.

“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,” Ali says, looking at the table blankly. An hour ago when she was setting it, she was in the best mood of her life, but now she’s lost her appetite in more ways than one.

“Don’t,” Ashlyn says, following Ali as she retreats toward their bedroom. She grabs her hand, pulling her close. “You made the right decision. People are probably just surprised and freaked out a little. It’s not your problem.”

“I’m going to say something,” Ali says, reaching for her phone, but Ashlyn puts it behind her back.

“You’ll regret saying something when you’re mad,” Ashlyn says. Though she tends to be the more volatile, reactionary half of the relationship, she and Ali balance each other out by taking on the other’s role when need be. And right now, Ali needs a voice of reason much like the one only Ali can really provide, so Ashlyn steps in. “Al, I’m not going to see you till Monday. I miss you already. Please don’t let this ruin our last night together.”

Ali frowns, but Ashlyn kisses the pout off her face. “Promise me you aren’t mad,” she says quietly.

“Of course not,” Ashlyn says. “If I could, I would be right there with you in a heartbeat.” Ali nods, knowing it’s true. “Part of me wants to take you into the bedroom right now, but the other part of me really wants to make love to you somewhere we can hear the music.”

Ali’s nose scrunches up at “make love,” potentially her second least favorite way to describe having sex, which is probably why Ashlyn uses it so often, but the intent behind the words weighs out her distaste for the word choice, which she proves moments later when she pulls Ashlyn to the floor. The food can wait. Her girlfriend is way hotter anyway.

~

When Ali wakes up the next morning, Ashlyn is gone. She vaguely remembers Ashlyn waking her up briefly to kiss her goodbye, but now she wishes she had actually woken up to enjoy their last few minutes together. Next time they will be together is in Detroit, and then it’s straight to business and training and being surrounded by people constantly.

When she checks her email, she has dozens of press requests and a couple emails from her agent, but at the very top is an email from Ashlyn, which she opens first.

_Hey hot stuff,  
Sitting in the airport thinking of you. More specifically thinking about last night, but I need to stop because there are people all around me… D almost caught me looking at the picture you sent last night. Don’t worry I deleted it. Have fun with Kyle this weekend. I’m glad he’ll be there to keep my spot in bed warm, but he better not drool on my pillow._

_Also wanted to tell you that you’re a superstar in so many ways. I admire your tenacity, grace, love for others, and selflessness, among all your other terrific traits. You are an incredible soccer player and captain, but more than that, you’re an amazing woman. You’re the best friend, partner, sister, and daughter anyone could ask for. No matter what happens this weekend, you made the right choice. Don’t lose confidence in that._

_Call you when we land. Love you._

Ali smiles, tapping out a quick response.

_Can’t tell you how much I needed that. Hope you’re having a good flight. I love you more._

She breathes out, glad to be in the right frame of mind as she prepares herself to respond to her agent, who wants her to write a statement.

~

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=111mqe8)

“Good morning, beautiful sister of mine!” Kyle sings, jumping into bed with Ali.

“Coffee,” she croaks. He sets the mug he just brewed for her on her nightstand.

“Told you,” she hears Ashlyn say, and that makes her sit up. Kyle looks pleased with himself, holding up his phone so Ali can see he’s on FaceTime with Ash, who’s sitting in her hotel room with a cup of her own coffee.

“Hi,” Ali says, smiling sleepily. She takes the phone from Kyle as if having it closer to her will make Ashlyn more there.

“Hey sleepyhead, aren’t you supposed to be three hours ahead of me?” Ashlyn laughs. “I called you like five times.”

“Sorry,” she says. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

“She was sleeping like a corpse,” Kyle attests. “Must have been exhausted after that cute girl she picked up last night.”

“Shut up,” Ali grumbles, shooting him a look. “I did not pick up a girl.”

“But she wanted Ali bad,” Kyle says. “How many drinks did she send over?”

“Kyle,” Ali says, warning in her voice. “Stop.”

“Now I’m curious,” Ashlyn says, smirking. She settles against the pillows behind her. “How many was it, Al?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Ali says. “I told her it was a very nice gesture and that I’m taken.”

“Cold,” Ashlyn says. “But good. I wish I’d been there. You know how I love proving to people you’re mine.”

“If the bruises on her hips and neck have anything to say about it,” Kyle agrees, and Ali rolls her eyes.

“I hate when you guys gang up on me,” she whines.

“Fine,” Kyle says. “I’m going to take a shower. Just make sure you’re all finished and clothed when I’m done.”

“Leave,” Ali groans. “Love you!”

“Was there really a girl?” Ashlyn asks, clearly still dwelling on that.

“We went to dinner,” Ali says. “I think her friends dared her to do it. I think it was just very obvious Kyle was gay.”

“You’re joking,” Ashlyn deadpans. “How could they ever tell that?”

“How’s Seattle?” Ali asks, turning on her side.

“Beautiful,” Ash says. “But you’re nicer to look at.”

“Ha,” Ali says. “Training?”

“All good,” Ashlyn says. “D is going to be captain tomorrow.”

“Good,” Ali says. “I told Mark I thought she should be. Do you feel ready?”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “It helps that it’s not the end of the world if we don’t win. I don’t think I could take that pressure without you. Hence why I don’t think I could have done the World Cup without you.”

“You can do anything,” Ali says. “I just hope everyone helps you out.”

“I just hope Pinoe doesn’t score on me again,” Ashlyn says. “She’ll never let me live the last one down. How are wedding festivities?”

“Fine,” Ali sighs. She checks the time. Almost 10:30. “My agent should be posting my whole statement thing on my website soon enough.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ashlyn says. “You shouldn’t have to explain yourself.”

“No, but I wanted to,” Ali says. “I want people to hear it straight from me. I don’t want it to look like I’m avoiding talking about it.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn says. “Well, just stay off Twitter as long as you can.”

“I definitely will,” Ali laughs. “Are you not at team breakfast?”

“It doesn’t start for a few hours,” she says. “I’m just up early to talk to you because I know you have a big day.”

“Yep,” Ali says. “We’re heading to the beach soon enough. I wish you could see this house we’re in, it’s amazing.”

“This hotel isn’t bad, but I always have trouble sleeping without your icy toes,” Ashlyn teases. Ali’s poor circulation and Ashlyn’s tendency to keep the house at subzero temperatures (because she likes wearing sweats and cuddling, she argues, keeping Ali’s protests at bay) is a constant battle, but Ashlyn misses it when they aren’t together.

“I miss your coffee breath,” Ali says. “And your snoring.”

“Okay, I do not snore,” Ashlyn says defensively. The truth is, she doesn’t usually, but there are always a few days at the beginning of allergy season where it’s unbearable, so Ali likes to tease her about it anyway, especially when they’re at a camp and someone else is stuck sleeping with her on a bad night.

Ali sighs, and they both sit silently, just looking at each other.

“What’s on your mind?” Ashlyn asks.

“Just tell me again,” Ali says. 

“It was the right decision,” Ashlyn says. “I think you’ll doubt it right up until you’re at the altar watching your dad say his vows. Then you’ll know.”

“But—”

“And until then, I’ll be right here to remind you,” Ashlyn says, smiling.

Ali nods her agreement. “Two more sleeps,” she says.

“That’s right,” Ashlyn says. “Can you believe we managed long distance as long as we did?”

“Never again,” Ali says. “That was miserable.”

“Worth it, though,” Ashlyn says. “I could have chickened out and someone else would have swooped in and scooped you right up.”

“Not a chance,” Ali says. “I would have died alone.”

“Yeah, you were pretty obsessed with me,” Ashlyn says.

“Smitten is a better word,” Ali corrects her. 

“Fine,” Ashlyn agrees. “I was pretty smitten myself. Now as much as I want to lay here and talk to you all day, I think our window for phone sex has passed, and if I’m looking at your ‘just woke up’ hair—which looks a lot like your sex hair—for much longer, I’m not going to be able to stop myself. So go get ready for your day and keep me updated. No more dwelling, okay?”

“Okay,” Ali agrees. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=epf5ac)

~

Ashlyn paces a few steps back and forth just outside the locker room, phone in hand. It’s almost time for warm-ups, and the whole team is having a dance party to shake off their nerves. Ali had been texting her pictures all day from the wedding. She looked beautiful and the whole thing seemed amazing. It’s killing Ashlyn not to be there, but she knows at least for now, she’s right where she’s supposed to be, and so is Ali.

But now she’ll be hitting the pitch any minute now, and the last thing she heard from Ali was three hours ago when she and her family were sitting down for dinner. She knew it would be different not having Ali there right before a game, which hasn’t happened for months, but she assumed she would at least hear from her before the game, but now she isn’t so sure.

“Harris, huddle,” Mark calls, peeking his head out of the locker room door. Just then, her phone begins to buzz in her hand. She looks at it to see Ali’s contact photo and holds it up, giving Mark a pleading look. “Be quick,” he says. “And tell Krieger to tell her dad congratulations from me.” He winks before retreating to the locker room.

“Hi,” Ashlyn says, picking up the phone.

“Hey pretty,” Ali giggles, and it only takes a split second for Ashlyn to realize she’s drunk. She doesn’t know why, but it bothers her.

“How was the wedding?” Ashlyn asks.

“Oh my God, beautiful,” Ali says. “This morning we—”

“Actually, Al,” Ashlyn says, cutting her off. “I kind of have a soccer game to play here in a minute, so I can’t really listen now.”

“Oh,” Ali says. “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” Ashlyn rolls her eyes, annoyed with Ali and annoyed with herself for being annoyed.

“Is there anything important?” She knows she’s being short with her now, but she can’t bring herself to care all that much.

“Are you mad at me?” Ali asks.

“No, Alex, I’m just trying to get ready for our semifinal while you’re kicking back at the beach,” she says. Ali is quiet, and Ashlyn regrets it immediately. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, it is,” Ali says quietly.

“Al—”

“So when you said you’d support my decision and remind me it was the right one, that had an expiration date?” Ali asks. “Sorry, must have not read the fine print on that one.”

“Give me a break!” Ashlyn exclaims. “This isn’t what I need right before a game.”

“Maybe you should have considered that before lashing out on me,” Ali says. “Have a great game.”

Ashlyn tries to protest, tries to say something to take it all back, but she’s already gone. “Fuck!” she exclaims, kicking the wall.

“Um, this is soccer, you’re going to need that,” says a voice from the other door on the hall. It’s Pinoe, coming out of her team’s locker room, presumably to take a breather. “What’s up?”

“If Hope knew you were talking to the competition, she’d kill you,” Ashlyn says, only half joking.

“We’re going to kick your asses anyway,” Pinoe says. “Seriously, are you okay?”

Ashlyn shrugs, gesturing to her phone. “Ali.”

“What happened?” Pinoe asks.

“Stupid fight,” Ashlyn says.

Pinoe’s face changes from one of concern to one of disbelief. “Are you kidding?”

“No, Pinoe,” Ashlyn says, exasperated. “Leave it.”

“Hey,” she says, and the seriousness of her voice makes Ashlyn actually pay attention. “As your opponent, I’m all for dealing with it later. It can only help me if you’re distracted in goal. But as your friend, you need to call her back right now.”

“I can handle it,” Ashlyn says, knowing Pinoe is right.

“Listen,” Pinoe says. “I don’t know what happened, but it’s you and Ali. There’s no way it’s a big enough deal to let it affect your performance. Which will affect your team. You’d never pull this shit on us, and I don’t think your team deserves it either.”

“Okay, thanks,” Ashlyn says, turning to go back into the locker room. “Have a good game.”

“You aren’t dialing,” Pinoe says, nodding to her phone. Ashlyn’s look asks if she’s serious, and she just smiles. “Go.”

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and picks her phone back up to call Ali. When she lifts it to her ear, Pinoe finally looks satisfied, stepping into her own locker room. After two rings, she picks up.

“Al, I’m sorry,” she rushes.

“Um, yeah, you better be,” Kyle says. Ashlyn squeezes her eyes shut. Of course.

“Let me talk to Ali,” she says.

“Relax,” he says. “She’s in the bathroom. Not here to give you a hard time, I actually wanted to say hi. Everyone’s in the living room ready to watch the game. How do you feel?”

“Like shit now,” she says. “How mad is she?”

“Not as mad as she is hurt,” he says. “You know Ali. She’s going to be cheering her heart out for you no matter what. It’s just that she’s been beating herself up hearing it from everyone. She doesn’t need it from someone who’s supposed to be on her team.”

Ashlyn lets out a deep sigh, and over the line she hears Ali’s voice. “Do you have my phone?” she hears her ask Kyle. “Who are you talking to? I really need to call Ash.” After a small kerfuffle of the phone being passed, Ali’s voice comes in clearly. “I’m sorry for hanging up.”

“I’m sorry for saying that,” Ashlyn says. “It was cheap and shitty and not how I feel at all.”

“It’s okay,” Ali says. “I know. I should have called earlier so you weren’t stressing about if we’d talk before. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

Ashlyn has to chuckle at the accuracy of her assessment. “So can I have a pregame kiss?”

“With me?” Ali asks, confused.

 

“Of course with you,” Ashlyn says. “Come on. Over the phone.”

Ali laughs. “Ummm, there are people around!” she hisses.

“Just do it,” Ashlyn says. “Or else it’ll be your fault if I concede.”

Ali groans but gives in, making a kissy noise. Ashlyn responds in kind, laughing at how ridiculous they must seem. “You’re going to be amazing,” Ali says. “You are strong and beautiful and agile and the best goalkeeper I could ask to play in front of. I trust you to come up big, and so does everyone else. You’re my hero.”

“You’re my hero,” Ashlyn says. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ali says. “Thanks for calling back.”

“Thanks for wanting to call back,” Ashlyn says. “Talk after the game?”

“Of course,” Ali says. “Oh, wait, before you go, what time does your flight get in tomorrow?”

“Uh, noon I think,” Ashlyn says, trying to recall.

“Oh darn,” Ali says. “I don’t get in till 3 or 4. I can’t remember. Time change. Anyway, if for some reason we don’t talk because it’ll be like 2 a.m. here, I love you and can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll try to hurry after the game,” Ashlyn promises. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Ali says. “I already know you look good, and I’m pretty sure you felt good after our Skype call last night—” Ashlyn smirks, thinking back to their risky but rewarding double bubble bath Skype date while Crystal was down the hall. “So the natural result is that you’ll play good. Right?”

“Aye aye, captain,” Ashlyn agrees. “Gotta go.” Mark’s head is peeking out the door again, looking more annoyed this time. She hangs up and walks over.

“So much for being quick,” he says.

Ashlyn just shrugs and smiles. She’s ready now.

~

Ashlyn rubs her neck as she stretches out after the long flight. She texts Ali to let her know she landed safely and smiles at Ali’s quick response. Well, responses.

“Good. I’m bored at my gate waiting, you can entertain me now ;)” she wrote. Then “Not long now till I get to squeeze you eeeeek!!!!!” And finally, “Make sure whoever your roommate is won’t be around when I arrive. Just saying.”

A blush creeps onto Ashlyn’s cheeks as she types back, “I’ll see what I can do.”

She’s still smirking to herself and scrolling through their texts when she walks down the jet bridge, only looking up when she enters the airport to look for signs showing her where to go. But instead of a sign, she sees something way better.

Ali is standing right in front of her, grinning and holding a bouquet of flowers. “What?” Ashlyn exclaims, rushing the rest of the way before dropping her bags on the floor and wrapping Ali in her arms, lifting her off the ground for a kiss. “You are such a good liar,” she says, peppering her face with light kisses. “Should I be worried?”

“You know I love surprises,” Ali murmurs, her nails scratching the back of Ashlyn’s neck as she smiles, gazing into her eyes. “You played so well last night. I’m so proud of you.” 

Ashlyn groans, her head dropping to Ali’s shoulder. “Don’t remind me of last night.”

“Not the best result,” Ali agrees. “But you were amazing. Can I take you out to lunch before we go to the hotel? I kinda want you to myself for a little bit.”

“Selfish Kriegs,” Ashlyn observes, smiling. “I like it.” She cringes when she realizes what she’s just said “I just mean—”

“I know what you meant,” Ali laughs. “Don’t worry. You were right. Now that it’s all over, I’m more confident in my choice.”

“Good,” Ashlyn says, taking her hand with the realization that they probably only have a few more minutes of anonymity before it’s business as usual.

“I’ve missed my partner in crime,” Ali says, squeezing her hand, and Ashlyn grins back at her.

“Then let’s get back to causing trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE USUAL QUESTIONS!  
> 1\. Favorite line?  
> 2\. What kind of shenanigans do you think Ali and Ash get up to when they're in mischievous "partners in crime" mode? (Get creative!!)  
> 3\. What would you like to see next?  
> 4\. Also, college football has begun! (I'm watching Florida @ Kentucky right now—Go Gators!) What's your fave team?


	13. That Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on one of my favorite, most fluffy Ashlyn tweets of all time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=2cxypag)

On most counts, it’s not a great day to be Ashlyn Harris. She slept through her alarm, putting her 20 minutes behind her morning routine and 15 minutes late to training. She got a parking ticket she couldn’t even read while stopping for lunch before rushing back to a team meeting. As she sits in the car listening to music to try to relax, she gets a text from Ali, who she hasn’t spoken to yet today.

“Hey baby!” it reads. “Hope you’re having a good day! Love you ;)”

It makes Ashlyn smile so much that she almost considers pretending all is well, but then she thinks back to a conversation they had late at night last weekend when Ali was in Duisburg after a game. They were trying so hard to stay awake, as if they thought maybe if they didn’t go to sleep the morning would never come and Ali would never have to leave. They whispered and murmured late into the night about all sorts of things, but Ali made her promise that she’d always have the tough conversations with her, always be open and honest about everything going on in her life, and never try to spare her the truth.

“Pretty crappy so far,” Ashlyn texts back. “But that made it a lot better. I love you too.” Within seconds of hitting send, her phone rings. She picks up the phone. “Hey, I’m about to go into a team meeting.”

“Okay,” Ali says. “Everything okay?”

“It’ll be fine,” Ashlyn says. “I’ll call you later?”

“Or I could come see you,” Ali says.

Ashlyn laughs. “God, I wish.” It’s been less than a week since Ali was there, and they’ve gone far longer at far greater distances, battling phone bills and time zones at that, but sometimes it almost makes it worse to be so close yet so far away.

“I’m serious,” Ali says. “I was considering it already, but if you’re having a bad day, why not? I can get on a train and be there by the time your meeting is over.”

“Don’t you have things to do?” Ashlyn asks, amazed that Ali’s being serious. “Don’t you have a game tomorrow?”

“Yeah, in Wolfsburg,” Ali says. “I’d actually be closer if I came to you first. I would just get a train and meet the team when they’re getting in tomorrow. I’d get to leave later, so I’d be more rested than I would be otherwise.” She pauses. “Wait, is it okay with you? Sorry, I didn’t even think to ask.”

“Of course!” Ashlyn says. “There’s nothing I’d like more. Please come.”

“Done,” Ali says.

“There’s only one thing,” Ashlyn says.

“What?” Ali asks.

“I can’t promise that you’ll be well-rested tomorrow.”

~

Talking to Ali turns out to be the best thing Ashlyn could have done before her meeting. She’s suddenly in a completely different mood and can’t focus on the meeting for a single moment of the two and a half hours it lasts. She thinks she gets the gist of it, though, and she practically sprints out of the building when it ends.

“Pulling into the station in 10! Eeeek ;)” reads a text from Ali as Ashlyn gets into her car, and she silently cheers at the perfect timing.

“On my way,” Ashlyn texts back. When she gets on the road, she has to mentally remind herself that speeding won’t get Ali to the station any faster, but it still feels like she’s hitting every red light on her way.

When she finally pulls up to the station, Ali is standing on the curb with one small suitcase, the lightest Ashlyn has ever seen her pack. She grins and waves excitedly when she sees Ashlyn’s car.

Ashlyn comes to a stop and jumps out of the car, running to the other side to beat Ali to the door. She grabs her suitcase with one hand while wrapping her other arm around Ali and kissing her on the cheek. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she says, squeezing her shoulder. She loads the suitcase into the back seat before opening the passenger side door for Ali.

Before sliding in, Ali throws her arms around Ashlyn’s neck, planting a kiss on her lips. “Has your day gotten any better?” she asks, scratching the back of her neck softly.

“It has now,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali’s forehead. She closes her door and walks over to the driver’s side before anyone can interrupt their moment to tell her her car’s been there too long.

“Can we go to the Kö?” Ali asks, batting her eyelashes. The Königsallee is Ali’s favorite place in Düsseldorf, and when Ashlyn first came to visit before signing with Duisburg, Ali had taken her. Ashlyn remembers finding it remarkable at the time how different Ali was in Germany, how free she seemed. And she still does, but Ashlyn has seen her become more comfortable in her own skin no matter where she goes.

“You just sat on a train for two hours and now you want to spend another half hour in the car to go shopping?” Ashlyn laughs, because of course she does.

“We don’t need to shop,” Ali says. “I just want to walk around while the sun’s still out. But I could also stand to do some Christmas shopping.”

That’s the difference between them, Ashlyn thinks. And that’s why she needs Ali around, because if it weren’t for her, Ashlyn would (again) be scrambling to buy presents for all her loved ones on December 24. “Your wish is my command,” she says, squeezing Ali’s hand over the console.

In the end, Ali does more shopping and Ashlyn does more staring at Ali and trying to process the fact that she’s actually there. They stroll along the canal, Ashlyn holding half of Ali’s bags so they each have a hand free to hold the other’s. There’s no fear of being caught because nobody really seems to care. It’s less strange in Germany to see two women holding hands and stopping every few minutes to kiss than it is in America, and people are less likely to look twice. If they’ve been spotted by football fans, nobody has come up to say hello, and usually they only do at games anyway.

They find a bench overlooking the canal as the sun starts to set, and Ali leans her head onto Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I love you, you know,” she says.

“I can tell,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t think anyone else in the world would have dropped everything to take a train to come see me just because I was having a bad morning.”

“I’m sure they would,” Ali says. “You’re very loved, Ashlyn Harris. Not just by me. But I’ll fight anyone who says they love you more.”

Ashlyn smiles, leaning down to capture Ali’s lips in a chaste kiss. “I love you too,” she says. She’s about to suggest they skip a dinner out in favor of takeout and going home to make the most of their evening together when Ali’s phone rings, shaking her away from the moment.

“Sorry, it’s Kyle,” she says, picking up the phone. “Hi!” she answers excitedly. Ashlyn loves hearing the way her voice sounds when she’s talking to Kyle, less polished than she tends to be in big groups or when being a professional. In some ways it’s like she reverts to childhood around him, but in others she sometimes seems like the older sister. “I’m actually with Ashlyn right now, say hi!” She holds up the phone, grinning, and Ashlyn hears him yell to her, and she greets him back. “I know, it was super last minute, but I’m so happy,” she says, and Ashlyn can only hear half the conversation, but it’s enough. Ali laughs at something, and her eyes sparkle with glee.

Ashlyn takes her phone out and takes a picture of Ali’s profile, the canal glistening with the sunset in the background. She’s smiling, all white teeth and crinkly nose, and giggling at something Kyle says. Ashlyn wants to capture the moment forever, but Ali catches her right after she snaps it, pulling a face and sticking out her tongue. For a second, Ashlyn considers tweeting the picture, but she thinks better of it. Besides, she kind of likes that she can keep that part of Ali to herself. Instead, she taps out a quick tweet nobody will ever figure out.

“That laugh changes my whole day,” she types, pressing send. When she puts her phone away, Ali is getting off the phone with Kyle.

“Love you too,” she says. “Okay, bye.” She hangs up and turns to Ashlyn, kissing her cheek. “I was thinking maybe we should just go home now,” she says. “I don’t think I can resist you much longer.”

Luckily, thanks to a lack of traffic on the way back and her girlfriend’s one-track mind, she doesn’t have to wait long at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Have you watched/cried over [this](http://krashlyntome.tumblr.com/post/129946697704/long-live-the-new-kids-est-2008-we-had-the) yet? If not, go ahead and tell me how you feel. Also I wrote another Krashlyn one shot (technically there are two chapters though) if you want to [check it out](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4867409/chapters/11156816) :)
> 
> QUESTIONS!  
> 1\. What else are you reading/loving these days?  
> 2\. Favorite line?  
> 3\. What has been your favorite chapter so far?  
> 4\. What do you prefer to read... fluff? Angst? Something else entirely? (Note: this probably will have no effect on what I actually write, I just like to know preferences!)
> 
> Thanks for reading and hopefully for commenting ;) You guys rock!


	14. Thanks for Your Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](http://tinypic.com?ref=4u9v9g)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Krashmas, everybody! Bet you thought you'd seen the last of this, didn't you? This one was requested a TON back in the Fly on the Wall heyday a few months back, so I hope you all enjoy ;)

Waking up on game days next to Ali Krieger never gets old. When they’re away with the National Team, it’s kind of sad to sleep alone after being spoiled so much with home games for the Spirit. They’re playing in Boston tonight, so Ashlyn knows she won’t have the same privilege in the morning, but they don’t have to leave for their flight for a few hours, so she’s free to enjoy a lazy morning with her favorite lady.

“We should get up,” Ali murmurs into her chest. It’s already 11, which is beyond unusual for them, and she’s been wrapped in Ashlyn’s arms since waking up. They haven’t said more than a few words, instead opting to snuggle silently, save for a kiss or two here and there.

“I don’t feel well,” Ashlyn says. Her stomach has been bothering her since she woke up, but it also makes a pretty convenient excuse to stay in bed.

“I know, honey,” Ali says, putting on her favorite ‘poor thing’ voice that always reminds Ashlyn she is kind of being a baby. Depending on how sick she really feels, she reacts to the voice differently. This time, she nuzzles deeper into Ali’s neck, whining nonsensically. “You really don’t feel good, do you?”

Ashlyn shakes her head. “No, I need cuddles.”

‘You’re pathetic,” Ali laughs. “Come on, we’ve got to get up. I’ll go make us some coffee.” She kisses Ashlyn on the forehead, reluctantly extracting herself from Ashlyn’s arms.

Ashlyn groans, rolling over so she’s on her back and has the best view of Ali as she searches for a robe. “You don’t need clothes, you know,” she teases, and Ali smiles, rolling her eyes.

“Others might beg to differ.”

“Nobody complained when the Body Issue came out,” Ashlyn reminds her.

“You least of all.” She ties a bathrobe around her waist before going downstairs to brew the coffee.

Ashlyn knows she isn’t going to get away with lying in bed much longer once Ali returns, so she grabs her phone to ease herself into this morning thing. She has a few emails from the team email chain about flight plans for this morning and the usual texts from the gals’ group chat, trash talking about the weekend’s NWSL games.

She checks her Twitter feed and catches up on all her friends before switching to her mentions. She watches a video taken after someone got their wisdom teeth out and laughs, retweeting it and making a mental note to herself to show Ali later.

She keeps scrolling till she finds a tweet that makes her pause. Someone she’s never met or even heard of took to Twitter to tag her in a tweet to someone else about how she and the woman she’s been in a loving relationship with for nearly five years are “closet cases.” She’s still letting it sink in when Ali walks back in.

“You’re sitting up!” Ali cheers. “Proud of you.” She hands her one cup of steaming coffee. “Careful, it’s hot,” she says, leaning in for a quick kiss. “I’m going to shower.” Ashlyn doesn’t respond, transfixed on her phone. “Hey, you okay?” she asks.

Ashlyn nods, but when she sees the look of concern on Ali’s face, she puts on her best smile. “You know I love you, right?”

“Of course,” Ali says. “I love you too.”

“I just want you to know I’m really proud to be with you,” Ashlyn says.

“Where is this coming from?”

“It’s nothing,” Ashlyn says. “I just worry sometimes, and I want to make sure we’re both still on the same page as far as our relationship goes.”

“Ashlyn,” Ali says seriously. “I love you and I want nothing more than to be with you. If you want me to shout it from the rooftops, I will. If you want to keep it between us, that’s fine too. I am so proud to love you and honored to be loved by you. Yeah, it might be complicated to figure out, but I trust us to do it.”

“I don’t want to change anything,” Ashlyn says. “Not now, at least. But your opinion is the most important to me, so I just wanted to make sure.”

“Okay,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn on the forehead. She knows Ashlyn gets a little mopey when she’s sick, so she doesn’t question it before going to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

Ashlyn sits there for a little while longer, staring at the tweet. Finally, she can’t take it any longer.

“Just because I choose not to share my private life on social media doesn't mean I'm 'closeted' but thanks for your concern,” she types. She re-reads it three or four times before finally sending the tweet. She makes sure she isn’t sending it directly to the person who posted the tweet that set her off, but now everyone will see it and make no mistake of it.

The replies, retweets, and favorites start rolling in, and she sees Ali’s name mentioned more and more. Shit. This is the last thing she wanted to drag her into.

When Ali emerges from the shower, wrapped in a towel, Ashlyn can’t hide the concern on her face.

“Baby, what is it?” Ali asks, her face falling.

“Someone on Twitter called us closet cases, and, well…” She turns her phone around so Ali can read the tweet.

Her reaction is the opposite of what Ashlyn expected. She at least expected disappointment, maybe some annoyance, but Ali just laughs.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Ali says, stroking Ashlyn’s hair. “They got you at the wrong time, didn’t they?” Ashlyn nods. She knows they caught her at a weak moment. “If it makes you feel any better, I was about to go change, but before I do…” She turns toward their walk-in closet, letting her towel drop to the floor. “I know some fun things we _can_ do in the closet.”


	15. Sike, It's Totally Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali deals with some alarming news right before a game.

Walking through the doors to the locker room, Ali recalls the promise she and Ashlyn made to each other when they started dating to never let anything between them affect their team or their performance on the field.

Most of the time that promise means not overstaying their welcome in each other’s rooms at camp or on Spirit road trips. To this day, most of their Spirit teammates haven't seen them kiss aside from nights out after games, and even then it's at a minimum. But other times that means resisting the urge to snap at each other when they're fighting, something that doesn't come quite as easily, especially on days like today.

Ali made a rule to herself that she would never snoop in a significant other’s phone after she caught a high school boyfriend cheating. If you don’t trust them enough not to snoop, she figures, you won't like what you find. But she and Ashlyn don't have secrets. They know each other’s passwords for everything but never abuse that privilege, only using it when someone has to do the other a favor, like Ali reading out a text message while Ashlyn is driving.

“It's Alex,” Ali announces, sliding the phone to unlock it. She reads silently to herself, her brow furrowing in confusion. “She wants to know when you told Mark and the Orlando people you'd have an answer for them.”

Ashlyn freezes, her knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. “Um, I don't know,” she says.

“What is she talking about?” Ali asks softly.

“It's nothing yet,” Ashlyn says. “I meant to talk to you but there hasn't been a good time.”

“About what?” Ali asks, racking her brain. No good time? They literally live together. They train together, they eat together, they sleep together. 

“Can we talk about it after the game?” Ashlyn suggests, pulling into the parking lot.

“So I can be distracted the whole time? No, tell me now.”

Ashlyn puts the car in park and runs a hand through her hair, letting out a deep breath. “Orlando City wants to start a pro women's club,” she says. “It's pretty much a sure thing, actually. They have the investors and they've been working with the NWSL.”

“Why is Alex asking you about it?” Ali asks, her voice trembling. She already know the answer.

“When everything gets going, they're going to have an expansion draft,” Ashlyn says. “Alex is obviously the big acquisition they want, and of course she wants to go and be with Serv.”

“And they want you.” She says it as a matter of fact, and Ashlyn has no choice but to nod. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Ashlyn asks. She doesn't know what she was expecting, but it wasn't that.

“I mean no!” Ali exclaims. “This isn't something you get to just decide on your own. You can't just spring this on me and expect me to be okay with it!”

“Technically Alex sprung this on you,” Ashlyn says, trying to ease the tension, but it doesn't work.

“Because you didn't tell me!” Ali says. “How long have you been keeping this from me?”

“I haven't been,” Ashlyn promises, turning her body so she's facing Ali. Ali looks straight ahead, her lip trembling like she's trying not to cry, and Ashlyn reaches over to place a hand on her thigh, but Ali flinches away.

“Don't touch me,” she says. “If you make me cry before this game I will never forgive you.”

Ashlyn pulls her hand back quickly. “Is there anything I can do?”

“You can leave me alone and let me focus,” Ali says, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

Ashlyn slams her fist against the steering wheel, accidentally triggering the horn, which makes Ali jump as she walks away, but she doesn't turn back.

She walks as fast as she can, not realizing how she’d feel walking up to the locker room on her own. She considers waiting, but she doesn't want to give Ashlyn the satisfaction, so she takes a deep breath and opens the door. The weirdness is probably all in her head anyway.

Or not. When she walks in alone, everyone looks confused.

“Where's Ashlyn?” Crystal asks almost immediately.

“She's coming,” Ali says, emotionless as she sets down her bag and takes off her shirt to change.

“Everything okay?” Crystal asks, concerned.

Ali looks up at the door to see Ashlyn walking in, and Crystal follows her gaze. “No.”

~

Her bad mood is only made worse when Mark tells her she's playing in midfield tonight (they’d tried it out in practice, but she didn’t think he’d seriously do it in a game), but she has to put on a happy face for a meet and greet with some of the kids from the Spirit’s Super Y program, many of whom want photos with her and Ashlyn, their local World Cup heroes, together.

During introductions, Ashlyn leans over to whisper something, and Ali grits her teeth, smiling politely. She doesn't know what she says, just that it's some wry comment that Ali usually would have laughed at. This is how Ashlyn would prefer to deal with fights: making Ali laugh so she forgets she's mad. It rarely works.

In Ali’s pregame speech, she can’t see Ashlyn, so she knows she must be somewhere behind her. This makes it easier when she makes her speech about leaving off-the-pitch distractions off the pitch and forgetting any personal problems for the next 90 minutes. To everyone else, it probably seems pretty random, but it’s easier than pulling Ashlyn aside and talking to her one on one.

Ali tunes everything out and focuses on the game, so much so that when Diana scores, she has to consciously stop herself from turning to Ashlyn and grinning to involve her in the celebration like she usually does. At halftime, she runs off the field without waiting to see where Ashlyn is.

She heads straight to the bathroom, as is her tradition, but of course Ashlyn follows her, knowing exactly where she’ll be.

“Not right now,” Ali sighs when she gets out of the bathroom stall and sees Ashlyn.

“A kiss,” Ashlyn says. “Please.”

“You’re sick.”

“On the cheek.”

Ali sighs, turning her cheek and leaning toward Ashlyn, who kisses it softly, probably taking more time than she usually would.

“We’re doing fine,” Ashlyn says. “We’ll be fine.”

Ali nods, turning back toward the sink to check her makeup in the mirror. “We need to get back.”

“It’s one game,” Ashlyn says. “This is more important. Tell me whatever happens we’ll be fine.”

“I can’t do that,” Ali says. “Not yet. I can focus on winning this game, though.”

~

She tries, anyway. They all try, and if Ashlyn’s honest with herself, she lets herself get comfortable at the very end, when the Flash manage a late equalizer. To make matters worse, Ali is in the box when it happens and ends up on the receiving end of Ashlyn’s frustration. Then there are nine (nine!) minutes of stoppage time, and Ashlyn knows Ali’s head can’t possibly be in the right place after her mini blow-up after the goal they conceded.

“Good game, pal,” Whitney says, hugging Ashlyn. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold-wise, I feel fine,” Ashlyn says. “They gave me some stuff for my chest, so I feel a little better.”

“But other than that?” Whitney asks, her eyes going toward Ali. They aren’t subtle, at least not to Whitney, who’s seen it all.

“It’s complicated,” Ashlyn answers.

“You always say that, and it’s rarely anything that can’t be solved with an ‘I’m sorry,’” Whitney reminds her. “I’m assuming you guys won’t want to hang tonight.”

Ashlyn cringes. “I’m so sorry, I forgot we were—”

“It’s okay,” Whitney says. “I’ll see you in Pittsburgh in a few days anyway.”

“Of course,” Ashlyn says, hugging her again. “Everything will be good then, and I’ll be more fun.”

“Good,” Whitney says. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go get your lover’s side of the story.”

“Whit!”

“I’m joking,” Whitney laughs, rolling her eyes. “Team Ashlyn forever. I am going to say hi though.”

Ashlyn watches as her two best friends embrace, laughing and probably talking about what they need to pack for the Victory Tour—they’re just responsible like that—and the bad calls made by the referee. She wants to wait to say a quick “good game” to Ali, but she gets ushered away by some trainers to talk about how she's feeling first, then they have a team huddle and then start signing. She doesn't have a moment to even talk to Ali till they're in the locker rooms and passing by each other as Ali goes to shower, having stayed out a little longer.

“Feel okay?” Ali asks.

“Yeah,” Ashlyn replies, toweling off her hair. “Sorry for taking out my frustration on you out there.”

Ali waves her off. “It's cool. I was pissed about the goal too. It was a long game.”

“I missed you on my back line,” Ashlyn says, and Ali’s quiet.

“Yeah,” Ali says after a moment of looking everywhere but at Ashlyn. “I guess we’d better get used to it.”

~

They walk to the car in silence, Ali scrolling through her phone to like tweets and answer texts.

When they get to the car, though, Ashlyn can't take it any longer. She doesn't start the car, she just waits for Ali to notice and look up.

“What?” Ali asks, seeing Ashlyn staring at her.

“Game’s over,” Ashlyn says. “We’re alone. Can we please talk?”

“When we get home.”

“No, Alex,” Ashlyn groans. “We aren't going to put it off over and over. I want to talk now. I want to figure this out.”

“When were you going to tell me?” Ali asks. “How long were you planning on keeping me in the dark?”

“I don't know,” Ashlyn answers truthfully. “But look at this.” She pulls out her phone and starts tapping around. “You only saw one text. Look at all the ones before. Here. ‘I can't make a decision on this without talking to Ali.’ She asked me how I thought that would go, and I said I didn't know, but your input was going to be the most important.”

“No, it's not,” Ali says, sniffling as tears gather in her eyes. “What can I say? No, I don't want you to go? Of course I don't. But I can't stop you. You came here for me so I could play in my hometown and be near my family. I can't be selfish and not let you take the same opportunity.”

“Being at home and with my family is important to me, baby,” Ashlyn says softly, wrapping an arm around Ali and kissing the top of her head. “But not as important as you. You're my family too. This place feels like home, our teammates feel like family. It's a lot more complicated than it seems.”

“If it was that complicated, you'd already have decided not to go,” Ali says. “You wouldn't have needed my help.”

Ashlyn stays quiet, twirling Ali's hair around her finger. “What are we going to do?”

“Why didn't you ask me to go with you?”

“They wouldn't let us—”

“I know,” Ali says. She knows their value to the team, but also her value as the face of the team and their hometown girl. “I just—you didn't ask.”

“I want you with me everywhere I go,” Ashlyn says. “The thought of even a week without you makes me miserable. To imagine a whole season spent apart, even if we get to see each other at camp, really freaks me out. But you're happy here. Do I want you to come with me? Absolutely. I thought of every possible scenario to make that happen, trust me. If you left, I’d go with you in a heartbeat. But that doesn’t make sense right now.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Ali cries. “But I hate that it’s at our expense. Playing soccer is my favorite thing, and you’re my favorite person. I’ve gotten to have those things together for the past three years, and I don’t know how I’m going to let that go.”

“Hey,” Ashlyn says softly, lifting Ali’s chin so she’s looking at her. “You’ll never have to let that go. Long after all of this is over, you’ll still have me. On Saturday mornings we’ll watch the Premier League with our kids before taking them to their soccer games that you’ll probably coach while I bring snacks. And wherever we live, we’ll get NWSL season tickets and take our kids to all of those games so they’ll grow up watching even more badass women play than just their mommy.”

“Mommies,” Ali corrects, sniffling. “You’re pretty badass too.”

“Yeah, I was talking about me, did you think I was talking about you?” Ashlyn jokes, smirking. “We don’t have to figure any of this out tonight. I know this is a lot to think about all at once.”

“I just didn’t anticipate this was something we’d have to worry about now,” Ali says. “I always thought if something were to make us stop playing together it would be some trade at worst and having a baby at best. And I thought maybe we could beat the trade chances by having a baby first.”

“Still on the table,” Ashlyn teases, kissing her on the cheek. “Knock me up and Orlando won’t want me anymore.”

“‘Kay, so we have an Olympic gold to win first,” Ali retorts, rolling her eyes. “But if you’re saying I just have to get through one season without you in order for you to put a ring on it, I think I can manage. Come to think of it, I’ve seen Alex’s ring. Maybe it would do you some good to get some help from Serv when you’re shopping.”

Ashlyn laughs. “Noted.”


End file.
